Welcome to donduk. A refuge for those who enjoy Deal or No Deal, the hit Channel 4 gameshow hosted by Noel Edmonds. The award winning gameshow Deal or No Deal has become a big hit for Channel 4 and marks a sensational return to our screens of Noel Edmonds.

Deal or No Deal is enjoyed my millions of viewers daily, where the contestants battle with The Banker to try and win a jackpot of £250,000. Here at donduk you will find full daily reports of each show, as well Deal or No Deal news and specials. Deal or No Deal although initially appearing very simple in format of just opening a few boxes for the chance to win some big money prizes, actually has some potentially complex decisions to be made at points throughout the show, the contestants occasionally try complex or simple gameplay in an attempt to give them an edge in beating the Banker.

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Talking point

For any of you who tend to skip the comments, please have a look at the comments to Adie's latest post. There is some good stuff in there.

Fran's Game Report

Wednesday, sky is blue, summer looks as if its finally arrived - and we are inside like troglodites, waiting for the dream factory to give us a dream....sad really.

Noel arrived, he said there's no such thing as a bad deal, or a bad box, it was all in the timing, and you can only achieve success with courage. So there we are, a whole life's philosophy in the summary to DOND. Hope continues that a £250k winner is out there and may be found today, could it be....Fran. Fran sailed down the walk of wealth in the same way as the Queen Mary might, with box 22. She was a big girl - Alison Moyet meets Fran Cotton's hair stylist. She worked with children, and they had all signed a card wishing her luck. Fran was a grandmother, like policemen, they get younger everyday, and Fran was dedicating the game to her sister Wendy who died four years ago - so this game was as personal as it could be. 'Are you a gambler', asked Noel. Fran answered without hesitation, 'yes... bingo, lottery, horses, slot machines', and she had a lucky penny in her bra but there was no point in try to find that, lost like a sausage in the Mersey tunnel.

Round one: Buzz, 'my very good friend', box 13 - £3000. Fran spent a long time selecting James, box 21 - £10. Richard, who first appeared on May 20th, was welcomed to the show by Noel (early senility kicking in Noel?), he opened box 15 - 10p. Drew, box 2 - £10,000 - 'ah' said Noel, I think he may have thought it was the £100,000. [Of course Noel is off sick right now, maybe these mistakes were early signs. Get well soon Noel, we love you really.] Yvonne, box 17 - £50 - Fran squealed as if it was the last round. The offer was £7900. 'What do you think Mum?', said Fran looking back into the audience. 'There's more deals yet', mum's voice honed with half a million silk cut, but she had good skin so maybe she's given up. Fran agreed - ' No deal'.

Round two: beautiful Becca, box 10 - £5. 'Its looking fab' said Noel, so now I am watching with eyes half-shut, waiting for the big one. Fran went for box 19, Scott lifted the lid on £15,000. Big Ron was next on her list, 'there is not a chance that I am going to fit in the phone box', said Fran hoping that Ron could do the 1p two days in a row. After the break Noel pointed out that Ron was wearing the 'big cheque' shirt, but Fran persevered. She shouldn't have, Ron lifted the lid on £250,000 (only one box late considering Noel's call). The Banker jumped in with an offer of £3100 - 'no deal' said Fran just as quick.

Round three: Lee, box 18 - £50,000. 'Aww, now this is not good', said Noel encouragingly. Suzanne, box 4 - £5000. 'This is getting quite frightening, you have to break this red round', said Noel, like Droopy on the Titanic. Daz, box 7 - 50p. 'Now how do you feel?' asked Noel. 'Not too bad, a hiccup with the 50, but you have them in life don't you, and you get over them. I have a big heart and a big bottom', said Fran. The audience clapped and Noel said, 'I think its wonderful', he may have been talking about her attitude, or it could have been her bottom, I wasn't sure. The offer now was £10,000. 'How do you feel?' she asked mum, 'Lucky' said mum with a big grin, eyes glinting. 'No deal' said Fran, with the same eyes.

Round four: Carlton, box 14 - £35,000 - another of the power five. Fran was whiter than normal, the smile had gone, extra chins were appearing fast - she didn't suit stress. 'Box 1, Janie - £1000. Teresa was asked to chant 'blue' for two minutes. After the break box 20 was opened - £750 - so all that chanting worked. The Banker stuck at £10,000. The board contained £20k, £75k and £100k as well as five blues. She went for it - 'No deal'.

Round five: Nessie, box 16 - £250, so at least one red would survive. Jo, box 3 - 1p - Fran nearly fainted, Edinburgh earthquake watch were on standby. Finally for the round she went to Peter with box 11. There was just something in the way Peter sucked his teeth before opening, it was too late by then of course even if Fran had spotted it; he lifted the lid on £100,000. Yet Fran was not upset, she was looking at the two big reds still on the board. The banker pushed for her to go on by offering £5000. Fran's mum came down to give her hug then mum kissed the box. 'I want to go on?', said Fran to her mum, looking for reassurance, permission even? 'Aye go on' said her mum, Thelma and Louise were now accelerating towards the cliff edge. Fran was hoping to miss two reds from five in the next three choices, this was a big ask that had destroyed the dreams of many before her.

Round six: Mum stayed beside Fran. She went for Wayne, the new guy, with box 12 - £100. The audience cheered but Fran was praying, hands clasped tightly together. The audience were chanting 'blue', the contestants joined in and held hands. Fran had finally selected Joan, box 9. As £1 appeared people started screaming throughout the studio, Fran's face was covered by her hands. 'If you can take out the £500 now, you are guaranteed to go home with at least four times the last offer', said Noel. She went with Louis, box 8 - £20,000. For the third time in three days we had a blue against £75,000. Would the Banker offer £22,000 as he said he would for Colin yesterday? No! The offer was £28,000, the Banker clearly working on the basis that it was not in the player's box in each of the last two days. Fran's eyes had welled up, but her mum was smiling and swaying like a girl in the playground. On Monday Fran had watched Simone leave with £1, could this lovely, big woman, with photos of her grandchildren in front of her, take the risk? No, she dealt, and quite right too.

Noel opened her box, she had the £75,000, but Fran didn't care, £28,000 was going to make a massive difference to this woman (and her mum). Stevie opened box 5 - £500. Stevie seemed pleased that her streak of reds had ended, but this was not good if she was soon to be selected as the player.

Back to this game, it was good, not great but good enough. Fran's mum was there like a dynamo, encouraging but not influencing. Fran took risks as far as she could and then some, but the gambler's instinct cut-in to tell her that a drop of £27,500 was too much to risk - regardless that she had the £75k in her box, she had made a wise decision.

Fran won £28,000

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Colin's Game Report

Tuesday, waiting for DOND to start. More 4 advertised their 'classic films in the afternoon' series with a shot of Jane Mansfield changing direction while walking in an amazing dress - ladies is there any possibility that these might be become fashionable again? Please?

And then we are off, according to Noel we are 'officially addicted'. He reflected on yesterday, 'Simone's game was cruel. The contestants now had to erase that memory', again I disagree with Noel's opening remarks - surely it is through accumulated knowledge that players make the best decisions - Simone should have dealt earlier, and other players would do well to remember her experience.

The lights stopped flashing and we were in trouble, today's player was Colin, who has said some very strange things in earlier games. As Colin arrived at the desk, he had a wide-eyed, fixed grin on his face, and he wore thin rimmed glasses - Wile E. Coyote had just walked out of a cartoon and into the DOND studio. Apart from box 15, he had photos; one of a cat which pretended to be friendly, but 'most of the time bites your hand off', he brought this to remind himself of the Banker (nothing crazy about that). Another photo was of his wife Doreen (not present), and another was of two of his grand-daughters, Annabel and Louise. If he won the big money Colin wanted to move next-door to Noel; Noel joked that he was now hoping for the 1p. Noel asked, 'are you ok?...you are amongst friends'. The thing is, Colin really did seem to be barking mad, reckless and care-free - these were good attributes to use in confusing the banker - it occurred to me around this point that we could actually witness a great game.

Round one: Jo, box 5 - £250,000. Colin put his head down to the desk, then turned to look up at Noel, 'You don't want me to live next door to you, do ya'. 'Yes' said Noel, fists in the air in mock glee, and then he became serious, reminding Colin of Gaz's game where the same thing happened before Gaz left with £100k. Buzz was next with box 20 - £100. Teresa, box 12 - £1000. From contestants reactions it had already become clear that Colin was very popular amongst his peers, people were genuinely sorry to see him go. He went for Louise, box 2 - £750. Big Ron, the new guy, (more like Santa Clause) box 16 - 1p. Colin roared to the skies, and then was going to select James but the phone went. 'Ah shurrup', said the interrupted Colin. The Banker thought Colin looked like a ventriliquists dummy, and he couldn't go to the end because 'he hadn't got the gottle'. The offer was £2200. Colin referred to the Banker as Jasper (the name of his cat), and then he said 'No deal'.

Round two: James, box 7 - £100,000, again the start of the round was bad. 'Looks like a house in blackpool now doesn't it'. Richard, box 9 - 50p. A happier Colin sat back into his chair. He chose Joan, box 10 - after the break she opened £3000. The Banker reckoned that statistically people didn't recover from this position, Noel wasn't so sure, and Colin said 'there is always a first time'. The offer was £4400. Colin looked at the board, he was becoming serious now, the £75k would give him the deposit on his house in France. 'No deal'.

Round three: Janie, box 4 - £50. Lee, box 6 - £5. Scott was chosen and said, 'When I came out of the hotel this morning, I heard a wilderbeast....', he couldn't keep it going, box 17 - £10,000. Colin was quite happy. The board had five blues against six reds. Noel asked him to describe what he thought he had in his box in the same way that he had forecasted previous boxes. Colin looked to the box, 'I think there are £75,000 in that box which is a lot of animals'. Noel wanted to keep the maddness going, like bear-baiting 'What kind of animals?' Colin continued to stare at the box 'very pretty ones, with pink flowers down the side, I thought I saw one especially, with jeans and a flowery shirt ...called Noel, but of course that's extinct now'. Noel talked to the Banker and returned 'He is now offering you two badgers, eight otters and a stoat, and that is weasily the best offer you've had'. He had doubled again, the real offer was £8800. 'That would make a difference to me, it would pay the wife's hairdressing bills'. Ask me the question please....No deal'. I felt that Noel and the Banker were becoming more crazy as the show went on, while Colin was becoming more coherent - the tail was wagging the dog.

Round four: Peter, box 21 - £20,000. Suzanne, I can't remember this woman even being pretty before, and today she looked gorgeous, she opened box 3 - £50,000. 'oh no, disastrous', said Noel. It wasn't good, but hardly 'disastrous' Noel. After the break, Yvonne opened box 19 - £15,000. An all-red round, leaving five blues against three reds, but including £35,000 and £75,000. 'If I can do two blues and a red in the next round we'll be ok', surmised Colin. 'Why not three blues' asked Noel. 'Because of the way it has been going up till now'. This man was crazy like a fox. The offer was £3300 - 'No deal'. The shell was breaking, the real Colin was coming through, he needed the money, and he had one more fight left in him.

Round five: Becca (sighs deeply at what might have been if I had endless amounts of money and was 10 years younger), box 8 - 10p. Colin turned to the audience, raised his arms and screamed 'yes, come on'. Drew, box 1 - £1. Colin turned and did the same thing again. Daz, finally with box 18 - £500. This time Colin stayed where he was, energy spent, nerves frayed, his hands in front of him in prayer. An all-blue round just when he needed it. The audience now were shouting, screaming, stamping their feet. 'When you try Colin, you can do it', said Noel in the accent of the Rodney Bewes from the Likely Lads. The offer was £10,000, the highest so far in the game. The camera closed in on Colin's face, 'Its a lot of money to me, and the way this game has gone.... I'm not using self-belief, but what I call common sense....Deal'. And with that Colin transformed, the stress was gone, his smile was genuine, he could finally relax.

Round six: Stevie, box 22 - £35,000 (the Banker had lost his window of opportunity, the Black Widow was back to her old ways). Fran, box 13 - £5000. Carlton was back, he opened box 14 - £10. The board was left with a choice between £250 and £75,000, the offer would have been £22,000 (I have to say I find this hard to believe, at the same point yesterday where Simone had £1 against £75,000, the offer was £15,000). Noel opened Colin's box, while suggesting that Colin had made a mistake, but he hadn't - £250 - Nessie had the £75,000 in box 11.

Colin had played a blinder. If you are of a certain age you might remember an episode of the Colditz series, where one of the British prisoners pretended to be insane, so that the Swiss Red Cross would re-patriate him under the terms of the Geneva Convention. By the time he fooled the Nazis and got back to Blighty he had actually become insane. I just hope we got to Colin in time.

Colin won £10,000

Monday, May 29, 2006

Voting restored

The voting system is now back up and running - sorry about the inconvenience. [At the end of the day the server that was supporting that system is still down, but we were able to get a copy and move it to another server. The database behind the system has always been on a third server.]

Iain

Simone's Game Report

And just like that its Monday again. Noel reviewed the game, there were many variables; different attitudes to risk, the Banker had different attitudes to different to players, each box had a different amount of money, but according to Noel there was one uncanny constant - dramatic television viewing. Sorry Noel, DOND can be dramatic, sometimes breath-taking, but it can also be dull, frustrating, anger-inducing and even embarrassing - it's only constant is that it is unmissable. 'Could this be a mega money Monday?' asked Noel, 'for....Simone'.

Someone hit the blog on Saturday with the search words 'Deal or no deal simone £250,000', so I've been waiting for this. Simone took the walk of wealth with box 19. A bubbly, buxom Trisha Goddard, her hubby Phil was in the audience. Simone reckoned she was a kind, compassionate bank manager - so she was a good liar then. But she didn't look like a liar....

Round one: Joan box 3 - £100. Stevie, she was going for the black Widow, had Mark on Saturday broken her run? Stevie opened box 17 - £50, at this rate it won't be long before Stevie gets the call, the Banker would have been too frightened up until now. Lee, the new guy was wearing blue, he opened box 20 - £750. She went for Buzz. 'Really, really, really?' said Noel, clearly thinking that Buzz had red before when Stevie was blue. 'Never change your mind', said Simone. Box 13 - £500. 'Only one person has achieved an all blue opening round' said Noel, so that was it, the hug of heartbreak. Fran, box 6 - £100,000. The opening offer from the Banker was £5500. 'No deal' said Simone, excitedly enjoying the moment when she was first asked the only question in the show.

Round two: Yvonne, box 21 - £5000. She turned to find her husband in the audience, 'Give me a number babes, we can share the blame'. Phil went for box 18. Jo opened box 18 - £20,000. 'You see' said Simone to Phil, 'typical man, hasn't followed the rules...', said Noel. Scott, box 8 - 10p. Simone rubbing her hands, looking to her next choice, forgetting that it was time for an offer. The structure had changed, we should have had a break by now. Instead the Banker phoned with an offer. Noel wrote down the amount and showed it to the camera (£15,000), he showed it to the audience and to the contestants' would you say mmmmm?', said Noel at each point. Simone had to wait until after the break to find out how much it was, she said 'mmmmm'. Phil felt it was a very high second offer, 'but there were more deals'. Simone said, 'Come-on, there is £250,000 in there', pointing at her box, 'what's that about - no deal'.

Round three: Richard, box 5 - £10,000. Stunning Becca, box 1 - £15,000. 'ooooooo' said Noel, sounding like a ghost. He felt she was in a groove of reds. 'Blue... blue... blue', started Simone, getting the audience to join her chant. Then she went for Colin, and this spoiled the flow. Colin wanted to say something, the chant dried up as Noel repeatedly shouted to him to open the box, becoming increasingly frustrated with Colin's intention to try to say something that no-one was going to understand. Eventually he opened his box 11, Colin had been effectively silenced - £250. Again Simone wanted to keep going. The offer was £10,000. Simone's voice shaking now, 'it gets tricky when you get to this point', her voice trailing away, nerves kicking in, she had just lost £5000, not good for a bank manager - 'no deal'.

Round four: Drew, box 9 - £35,000. Simone sucked her teeth, the energy was slipping fast, the glint in her eyes was fading. Suzanne, box 15 - 50p. Trisha was moving out, Aretha Franklin singing the blues was moving in, she raised her arms to the heavens, but there was no smile, just relief. After the break, 'its not easy, your whole destiny lies in these few minutes' said an exhausted Simone. Daz opened box 22 - £1000. Simone was going to choose another box, getting the audience to chant, again forgetting that she had just chosen three boxes. The offer now was £18,000. 'There is one more deal', said Phil. 'Babe are you sure, are you sure?', said Simone. Now this was a little bit like Maxine's outburst, but the dynamics were different, Simone was a big soft cuddly woman, and she and Phil were very much a team - 'no deal'.

Round five: Teresa, box 12 - £50,000. Peter, box 16 - 1p. Simone rushed over to hug and kiss Peter. Peter disappeared for a while, enveloped by Simone (lucky man). James, box 14 - £3000. Unbelievably Simone wanted to keep going , trying to get the audience to chant 'blue' again. 'There are kids watching going, Mum that lady, she can't count' said Noel, making fun of this bank manager. But this was getting seriously interesting, Simone had three blues, against £250,000 and £75,000. The offer now was £25,500. 'Can I come down?' asked Phil. 'Babe, I think you should deal'. Simone was stunned,' Do you really?' She was upset that her time in the limelight might be over. Phil retracted, remembering that she was in the hot seat, 'I'll be behind you whatever'. Simone immediately revived, 'we'll survive no matter what, lets do it'. Phil nodded his agreement, licking his lips, his mouth dry with fear. 'No deal', said Simone, adding 'This is crazy!' Indeed it was.

Round six: Janie, box 7 - the crowd were again chanting blue, this time without any encouragement from Simone. The lid lifted on £250,000 and the chanting crumbled away. Simone was against her hands, her eyes had gone, she knew it was the end. Noel talked up the £75k but Simone knew it would be in the next box, she was cold and alone. She went for Louise as if choosing a last supper, box 4 - £5. Ok it wasn't red, but the next one would be - her eyes were dead. Box 10, Nessie - £10 - suddenly Simone was alive again, her eyes shone like stars, the crowd screamed loudly, Simone was hugging Phil. The board had £1 and £75,000, the offer now was £15,500. 'Thats pure evil' said Simone angry now, that the Banker had dropped his offer by so much. But it is bad to be angry, you make bad decisions when angry. And it wasn't just Simone, Phil was angry too, whispering 'go for it'. They were seeing the £75k, ignoring the £1. Simone asked for the question and quickly said 'no deal'. I thought, 'Where is this woman's bank, I have a bridge I want to sell her'. The banker phoned back immediately, Phil answered. They had the option of swapping. 'No thank you Mr Banker I am not swapping' - this lady was not for turning. The contestants held hands, the audience held their heads. 'You do not deserve to go away with just £1. I just hope this room is about to go beserk' said Noel, he pulled away the seal and opened her box - £1. Noel sunk his head on to the desk, Simone fell into the arms of Phil, Phil managed to stay standing and the audience eventually managed to clap in sympathy. The £75,000 was in the missing Carlton's box 2, opened by Fran.

Including Simone, only ten people have come away with £1 or less since the beginning of DOND. This was hard on Simone (and Phil); she had played the game, she had taken some big risks, and she had produced a very entertaining game, but there was a moment of truth at the end of round five. And in going forward from there, Simone was lost in the lure of the game. I think there are very few who can say with accuracy what they would have done in Simone's position.

Simone won £1

Saturday, May 27, 2006

Mark's Game Report

Right, last show of the week and this better be good because I am getting taken out to dinner immediately afterwards, and I have insisted that we leave 30 minutes later just to do this report. But I needn't wory, its always good....isn't it?

Noel was wearing a dark shirt with a splattering of bright flowers, I'm sure my Auntie Florence had curtains like that once. He fires up the crowd with his take on a Churchillian speech, it falls some way short but the audience scream nonetheless. He reminds the studio that the largest amount, £120,000, was won by Jennifer last year, how much longer were we going to have to wait? Could that record finally be taken tonight? The player facing this challenge was Mark, a quiet contestant over the last 21 shows who now roared down the walk of wealth with box 20. This dark horse from Liverpool clearly had some oriental ancestry, but he reminded me of Dustin Hoffman's Ritzio in Midnight Cowboy. Mark had survived drowning twice and crashed into the central reservation on M6 while trying to avoid a dead cat - from that he felt lucky - I suppose he could have been the dead cat. He had a system, which he wondered if the Banker could crack. Mark talked about Big Ben, and the giant cup of coffee in front of him, all signs he reckoned that he was here for the big money, hmmmm, that didn't really work. But with his Chinese connections, he had the genes for gambling. Mark was going large, trying to work the crowd - this was not the natural behaviour of an IT man, and Mark looked uncomfortable.

Round one: Louise, box 22 - £5. Teresa, box 1 - £750. Janie, box 10 - 50p, this was looking very promising, Mark was no longer baiting the crowd, things were already serious. Drew, box 16 - £10,000. Peter, box 2 - £100. The opening offer was £10,000. Mark started to ramble in Liverpudlian, ending up with '..I feel positive, No Deal'.

Round two: Yvonne, box 15 - £250. 'Yeah!', yelled Mark, again this looked very odd, is there a producer behind the scenes with a doll, sticking pins in it? Joan opened box 9 'hope its blue, Mark', said with all the feeling of the dead cat Mark had avoided - £20,000. Suzanne, opened box 14 after the break - 1p. Now at this point the board was only missing two reds, with the power five untouched. The Banker had sussed the system, his next box would be number 8. The offer was £20,000, a massive second offer. Mark went white, his shoulders bunched up, he smiled while blowing out his cheeks. 'No deal'. Noel felt it was time for his Kevin Keegan moment 'well we need to brace ourselves, its only a matter of time before we hit one of the power five', and you just knew what was going to happen next (maybe they record these Keegan moments afterwards, or maybe they have a few pre-recorded which they stick in on a loop).

Round three: Mark went for Jo, box 8 - £100,000 - 'eww no' said Noel, just like Frankie Howard. Mark nodded, licked his llips a few times and went for Fran, box 13 - £75,000. 'No, no,no', Noel had now gone for Kenneth Williams. If the cat had been alive and trying to avoid the headlights, it would now have looked like Mark. He went for Simone, box 7 - 10p. The offer was now £8000, he had just lost £12,000. 'Becca what would you do?', said Mark, he could just as easily have said 'if said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?', he just wanted to talk to Becca and didn't really know how to start up the conversation. 'I would no deal, definitely' said Becca. This was a non-event, there wasn't a cat's chance in hell that he was going to deal, and he didn't.

Round four: Scott, box 12 - £1000. Fran, box 3 (Carlton was unwell still) - £10. 'James, any thoughts about your box, by any chance', asked Mark. Ritzio was shuffling along a wet highway asking a stranger for a lite. James replied that he hadn't had any big numbers up until then. Mark went with his first instinct - James opened the lid of box 17 - £500. An almost all-blue round. The offer was £18,000. Mark asked for a sweep - roughly half said Deal. Noel then asked the question, and Mark replied as if he was declaring war on Japan - 'No deal'.

Round five: Colin, strangely, thankfully, quiet, opened box 4 - £250,000 - Mark's head in his hands. Noel needed to bring Mark back from the dead, he asked if we could know the system now. Apparently it was based on BlackJack, he first got rid of 22, and then wanted to remove all the lowest hands thereafter (I hope that is clear to you). He went with the gorgeous Becca (I could re-phrase that, but why kick a man when he is down), box 18 - £3000. Buzz, box 5 - £50,000 - Buzz's second red ever was the highest amount left on the board. I would have sugested that Stevie should now have a blue, but yesterday blew that theory our of the water. The offer was now £6000. Mark was trying to gee up the crowd but he was a fish out of water, as he clapped his jaw was on the floor, he was scared.

Box 6, Richard - £35,000 - Sue and I both knew it that was going to happen, it just had an air of inevitability. Mark was at the roulette table, chasing his loses, he went for Nessie, box 11 - £50. Noel was pushing him on to the last box of the round, 'The only way to recover, we must find the other blue'. The gambler couldn't believe Stevie could keep going with her string of power fives, he went with her - this was gutsy. Stevie looked on like an unwitting siren, Mark was determined despite Noel's concerns, so she opened box 19 - £1 - the best moment in the game so far. The board contained £5000 and £15,000, the offer was £9000, Mark was going home with some money, it was now a question of how much. Mark thought for a while, 'Time to bite the bullet, Noel' nodding his head, his tight shut - 'No deal'. Then he calmly took a sip from his giant mug. The Banker phoned to offer the swap. Now here is the thing, Mark's system was based on blackjack, his box was 20, he was across from Daz with box 21. Mark knew that 21 beat 20 in blackjack, but he had a principle that he would never swap. He batted them back and fore and then decided to dispense with his system and 'go with his heart'. He declined the swap.

Noel opened Mark's box 20 - £5000, Daz had the £15,000 in box 21. Mark sat back, it was over, and he was disappointed. What would he do with the money asked Noel - 'my girlfriend is quite high maintenance so most of it will be going to her' - a great last line. Mark had a box that he suspected was not the big amount of money but he stayed with it, and he had an expensive girlfriend and stayed with her - and he crashed cars to avoid dead cats....I think I can see a pattern forming.

Mark won £5000

Friday, May 26, 2006

June's Game Report

Friday, Conner won the Countdown Final of course, and yet this 14 year old claims he is 'no use at English'. After the ads break we were back at the dream factory again. Noel welcomed us saying that Rich had played a perfect game, he was never going to get more than £20,000. Sorry Noel but I just don't agree.

As the lights flashed I could see in the background that James was back. Soon the flashing stopped, today's player was going to be June (best get her off the program before they kill her if yesterday was anything to go by). She took the walk of wealth with box 7. June was from Cambridge, a retired accounts clerk and singer, Miss Marple on valium. She would like to buy a cottage in France if she won the big one, but she was not lucky, her father used to pay her not to bet on the same horses as him, so she won more money from her dad than from gambling. She had a system, she had come prepared with some numbers.

Round one: Drew started with box 2 - £20,000 - 'oooo Drew', said June reproaching him. Louise, box 18 - £5000. Richard, box 20, he tried to warn her 'I've had blues so far'. She hardly blinked, 'its not how you start, its how you finish', so Richard opened his box - £100,000. June looked to her numbers, box 7 was going to be next, but Noel realised that would be a problem, it was June's box. We then discovered that June's numbers were produced by raffle and after Noel scoffed, she ripped them up and threw the pieces on the floor, saying 'anything for you Noel'. She went to the 'little green man', Colin. Today I could hear what he said, but that didn't make much difference: 'there was a man sweeping the street this morning, he was arrested by 49 policemen - there's £50 in there'. You see what I mean? Colin opened box 8 - £100 - I want to like Colin but whatever he is trying to do, its going over my head. James finished the round with box 18 - £3000. The Banker thought June was terrific, he was going to miss her peeking out over the top of her boxes. The offer was £3700 - 'thats not bad is it', she said thinking, and then she said, 'Janie, number 10'. Noel doubled up in laughter, eventually June was coaxed to say - 'No deal'.

Round two: After all that June didn't go with Janie, she chose Daz, Box 5 - £15,000. Peter was next with box 15 - £750. Box 13 by Simone was opened after the break - 1p - and June shouted only slightly louder than the audience, or was it that the mic was nearer to her? Noel double-checked that she understood the process for handling the offer. He then picked up the phone and after listening for a few moments said, 'I'm not passing this on'. June responded, 'Tell me yourself, you coward', and Noel passed across the receiver wishing the Banker luck. 'Hello sexy' said June, an unexpected and very funny moment. She then told the Banker she was 82 years old, the lady had just achieved a whole new level of respect from her audience. The offer was £9000. 'No deal'. She was determined and this was only the end of round two, but this sweet little old lady had just turned down a lot of money - Dot's game was coming to mind.

Round three: Joan, box 9 - £35,000. Mark, box 11 - £500. Suzanne, box 1 - £1. The board now contained six blues against five reds. Often the offer at this point has been the highest amount of the day. Noel organised for cups of tea rather than the big mugs and then asked how she would feel about the Banker sticking because he loved her? June looked astonished, 'well I would be disappointed, if he loved me he would give me his all'. The offer was £14,000. Buzz thought she should deal, so did a few of the others. 'I'm ready, I think I will do the sensible thing', said June, signalling that she would deal. I thought this was fine because I hate old ladies getting mugged. But Noel was surprised, he said 'really?'. June immediately reverted, 'oh go on then, we'll give it another go...No deal'. The audience applauded, she said 'what have I done?', but no-one asked what had Noel done?

Round four: Buzz, box 3 - £1000 - a red from 'the blue bottle', surely Stevie would be blue today. Jo, box 4 - £10,000. I was shouting at the TV 'go to Stevie', but she went to Teresa, box 19. After the break, with Noel crouched in front of the box with fingers crossed (as well he might be) Teresa lifted the lid on 10p - and the studio cheered. The board now contained five blues against £250,000, £75,000 and £50,000. The offer now was £23,000. 'I think thats pretty good walking money don't you?', the contestants all said deal except Janie, who suggested that she only had to take out one blue for the next offer to be even higher. But June was persuaded by the other 20 contestants - she said 'Deal'. Phew! The single persons' pension in this country is about £100 a week, June had just won over 4 years worth.

Round five: Janie opened box 10 - £50,000. Scott, box 22 - £250. June needed to see the big one, she selected the gorgeous Becca, box 14 - £250,000 and then June clapped and shrieked and said in best accent, 'oh marvellous'. The banker's offer was now - £7000 - she was surprised, she expected it to be higher. What would you have done now June? asked Noel. 'I've already decided' said June, astonished at the stupidity of the question, 'I've taken the £23,000'. Noel was completely captivated by her.

Round six: 'Lets just pretend that you haven't dealt yet' said Noel, trying to keep June abreast of what they were doing. June elected to go for Stevie on the basis that she couldn't possibly have another red, and because Buzz had a red earlier, I agreed with her. Stevie opened box 12 - £75,000 - 'I don't believe it', she said, straight from One Foot in the Grave. You and me both June, I'm very glad you weren't listening to me. She continued to select boxes, Nessie, box 1 - £50,and finally Fran, box 16 - £10. The offer would have been £2.00 and a copy of the rules. Noel was conducting everyone through the scenario as if June had kept going, he was attempting concern but it was clear that Noel was as delighted as June that she had won a decent amount of money.

With two boxes left, Noel opened June's to reveal 50p - Carlton, who was now off ill, had £5 in box 6.

This was DOND at its best, an episode that left you with a feel-good glow. June had played the game without any real idea of where she was or what she was doing but somehow she had managed to play a near perfect game, dealing at exactly the right point. It was June's lovely, warm personality, and the spirit of friendship amongst the whole team that made it such a great show, she was just a delight and it was clear that she was well-loved by the contestants she was leaving behind.

June won £23,000

Times Online

Can I just say 'wow', with this article in The Times this morning, Donduk, your favourite blog, has just gone nuclear. I would like to thank my Mum and Dad, my partner Sue, my children...... I would really like to thank all the other contributors to this blog. Traffic has just gone through the roof!

Anyway, if this is your first time here, you are very welcome. We provide a report on each game daily, usually within 90 minutes of the show being broadcast - back issues of these reports can be quickly accessed at Previous Game Reports from the Links menu on the right. There is also a wealth of other posts associated (loosely and otherwise) with DOND - the most popular of these so far are listed under Top Articles from the same Links menu.

Welcome and enjoy!

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Rich's Game Report

Thursday again, I am beginning to think someone is taking days out of the week. Noel's hair is getting greyer and his shirt is just beyond description, but you have to love him (in a manly way of course...hruumph). He reflected on Patricia's game, she could have been our first quarter of a millionaire, but just couldn't keep going to the end.

Today it was Rich taking the walk of wealth with box 21. Richard Pal, a banking risk/credit analyst, a man who determined the credit worthiness of thousands, and yet a boy of 14. Rich was a combination of Shadwell and Brad Pitt, with Mackenzie Crook's voice (from the office). He had a fiancee- Ellie - in the audience to support him - they were happy claimed Rich, 'aren't we Ellie?'. She nodded.

Round one: straight in, box 19, Stevie - £75,000 - an awesome record of power five reds. Box 2, Louise - £20,000 - silence apart from a cow mooing at the back. Mark warned him not to after he had a high red yesterday, but Rich was determined ,box 16 - 1p. Carlton, box 5 - £3000. 'I am looking at the boxes not the people, trying to get a feeling for what is in them', not what you would hope from a credit controller. Colin, box 7, again I have absolutely no idea what he said, something about a doctor - 50p. The offer was £3900, the banker declaring that Rich was cool and clear thinking, he could be his nemisis - 'no deal'.

Round two: Scott, box 14 - £5000. Simone, box 8 - £10,000. Rich's eyes becoming more hooded with each draw. Nessie, box 18, after the break she opened the lid on £500, finally I realised that there was an audience in the studio, strangely quiet until that point. Already Rich had got rid of five reds, but four of the power five were still in place. The offer was £10,000. Rich asked Colin (God knows why), and Richard, both of whom said go on. He agreed, 'No deal'.

Round three: James still off, so Suzanne opened Box 12 - £50. Janey, box 6 - £250,000 - the noise from the crowd rose with the lid. Rich seemed unaffected, he went for Jo, box 20 - £5. Noel asked the contestants what they thought the offer might be, anything between £5000 and £6000 said the East Wing. The banker thought they were a bunch of 'useless fools'. The offer was £5146. 'No deal' said Rich.

Round four: Fran was next, 'good luck Rich, you are a luvely peeeerson', she could have been handing the change back at Tescos checkout. She opened box 11 - £35,000. Buzz, box 4 - £750 - 'they call him the blue bottle', said Noel. After the break, Rich went for Peter, box 5 - £1000. The board now contained five blues against three reds, including £100,000 and £50,000. The offer was £8500, the banker suggesting Rich was 'a coward struggling not to deal'. Rich got his girlfriend down. Peter advised, 'if you do not know what to do, then deal'. Rich looked at the board and then won everyone's respect (except perhaps Ellie's) - 'No deal'.

Round five: Ellie was hiding behind her hands. Drew, box 13 - £250. Contestants holding hands. Richard, box 15 - £15,000. He was safe now in that both of the power five couldn't be taken before the next offer. June, box 17 - £1 - Rich screamed so loudly that June dropped the box lid through nerves, she nearly had a heart attack. The board now contained three blues against £50,000 and £100,000. The offer was £20,000. Rich asked for Ellie to come back down, she was wiping tears away from her eyes. Rich pointed out the £100k and the £50k, but she said 'these are just graphics on a board, £20,000 is real money.' She looked across to Noel, 'I'm the sensible one if you haven't guessed', and Rich removed his arm from behind her immediately, stung. Noel asked the question and he gave it the longest time, he wanted to go on I am sure, but Ellie had forced him to do the 'sensible' thing, he said 'Deal'.

Round six: Box 22, Suzanne - £100,000. Daz, box 10 - £10. Teresa, the new girl, opened box 3 - £50,000. The offer would have been £20.

Rich had £100, while the 10p was in the stunning Becca's box 9.

It certainly looked good, he dealt at exactly the right time and they now have enough for a decent deposit on a house. But the game was spoilt. Not for the first time this week, someone who was not playing, brought influence to bear on the player. Of course this is the essence of DOND, its not just opening boxes, its not just winning money, its the journey, the relationships. But when you have someone like a risk analyst for a bank, not being allowed to play on because of a wet, 4 Weddings and a Funeral pain in the bum girl look-a-like - then its very frustrating.....obviously.

Rich won £20,000

Hit Parade - Chart 11

For the second week in a row no-one has entered or left the top-ten; this reflects the second very poor week of results on DOND, are we shuffling chairs on the Titanic? Pat reached 16.5% of the vote during the week, but it now appears she is being pulled back - that said she is still over six clear points ahead of Morris in second place. Morris, Dave W, Kirsty and Raj are on the ascendent whilst the stars for Massimo and the Banker are wilting.

1. Pat M (Pat M)
2. Morris (Lucy)
3. Lucy (Morris)
4. Noel (Noel)
5. Dave W (Massimo)
6. Kirsty (Dave)
7. Raj(Banker)
8. Massimo (Kirsty)
9. Banker (Raj)
10. Simon (Simon)

Please make it live

One of the most visited pages on this blog is my appeal to Endemol to make this a live show. I have repeated this appeal from time to time in other articles. and of course there have been comments of opposition from a number of people, some connected with the show.

The viewing figures for the show have come off their peak of 5 million some months ago and as of 14th May 2006 it seems the average number of daily viewers is around 3.5 million . Of course this is still good but it is going the wrong way, and if cost is an argument against making DOND a live show, then the producers will attract higher adverising revenues with higher daily viewing figures (and hopefully avoid having to work with The Sun). As for logistics, just make it happen - it is not impossible.

My point is that a truly live show with all of its warts, mis-cues, unexpected events and so on, will keep DOND fresh, and viewing figures of 5 million will be looked on as a good start.

Of course I don't care about advertising revenues nor DOND's profitability, but I do want to make sure that the show remains entertaining for ME, and I am sure I am not alone. If it does not become live then sooner or later I will tire of it, in fact there has been the oddd occasion already when I have tired of it - Lofty on Tuesday being the most recent example.

Finally I am not a gambler (in the same way that an ex-smoker is not a smoker), but the UK is on the verge of opening up like Las Vegas with a super casino, and 17 other complexes planned (Who is out there asking for this?). DOND gives an insight into mans' impotence in the face of odds, and in a perverse way may actually help stem the tide of gambling addiction that threatens to engulf us. But if it is not live, more and more people will become bored and switch away.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Patricia's Game Report

Settling down for Wednesday's DOND, Countdown just wrapping up....Conner was unbelievable, 14 years old, he got the conundrum in under 1 second to get a winning score of 124. Watch him in the final on Friday.

And then it was Noel: that New Seekers grin, the Bee Gees beard, the chocolate-coated voice. It had now been over three weeks since Gaz got £100,000, Noel felt there was a volcano of pressure building up for a big winner, they/we were overdue for a big money payout.

Today's player was Patricia, a blonde-haired Dawn French in sky blue, she had three grown up children and three grand children. Her ambition was to widen her drive, fix her leaky roof, and for herself she wanted full body lipo-suction, laser treatment and leg extensions - so good for her. Patricia had been very quiet during her time as a contestant, dark even - but as she spoke with Noel she was growing on me, she had a great laugh, was self-deprecating and very open.... bubbly almost.

James was still off, so Suzanne would open box 19 for him.

Round one: She went for June, box 21 - 1p - the best possible start. Patricia looked as if she was about to break in to opera, her arms out-stretched, mouth open. Drew, box 22 - £750. Janey brought things back to Earth (a bit), box 9 - £5000. Rich, box 18 - £5. Colin opened box 6 - £10,000 - which meant that this was a very strong opening round. The Banker was also taken by Patricia, he had felt she was steely, but now thought she was warm and soft - the offer was £6600. 'Generous. Ask me the question....No deal'. No consideration, she had decided straight away.

Round two: Daz, the new guy, opened box 8 - £1000. There was a momentum now, '£3000 downwards', requested Noel almost nonchalantly . Fran opened box 4 - £35,000 - the brake cord had been pulled. After the break, Mark opened box 16 - £75,000. 'Oh no', said Noel in the style of Stuart Hall. The banker claimed to be thrown by the turn around in Pat's persona, the offer was £9000, which seemed very high considering that round. 'No deal', said Patricia still considering very little.

Round three: Richard, box 1 - 10p - Patricia clapped excitedly. 'Focus, focus', advised Noel. Louise was next, 'I had this box yesterday and it was red, so today it will be blue', she said as she opened box 11 - 50p - so Louise was one to listen to. Simone was next, a lady who was only eclipsed by Stevie in terms of reds, opened box 14 - £20,000. Patricia was going to continue with Colin. Noel stopped her and tried to persuade the banker that she had said 'Count' as she talked to her pencil which had dropped to the floor. 'Oh yes, she refers to the entire contents of her pencil case using aristocratic terms, we had Baron Rubber here earlier', said Noel in a nice bit of comedy. The banker responded in kind 'he will always beat you because he has a ruler' relayed Noel. The offer was £14,500. (Lofty had dealt at this point yesterday). She had a cheeky grin, she glanced at the board and then said, 'No deal...I know, I'm mad'. The audience cheered her on. This was not mad, there were four amounts higher than the offer, she was playing the game, and the more she did this the more she won her audience, both in the studio and at home.

Round four: Carlton, box 15 - £1. Contestants holding hands already. Jo opened box 13 - £100,000 - the crowd groaned. The board now contained four reds against five blues, the big one and the £50,000 were still in play. After the break, she asked Scott to open box 10 - £15,000 - 'its OK' said Noel, but the reds were thin on the ground. 'I believe' said Patricia. The banker gave a test of character - the offer was £8500 - punishing her for losing the £100,000. She turned to Noel, her face steely, 'ask me the question, Noel' - 'No deal' - the test had been passed.

Round five: Even though Noel had said Suzanne would open James' box, things had clearly changed during the show, instead we were introduced to Nessie who opened box 19 - £10. Everyone was holding hands now, not just the contestants but the audience too. The tension was building fast, and I haven't used that word for a few days. Finally for this round Patricia went for Suzanne, with box 20. Could she avoid the last two power five including the big one? The lid opened - £250. 'Yes, yes, yes, yes', said Noel, visibly more excited than Patricia, who was already focused on selecting the last box of the round. 'Buzz, do it for me', she said with a foxy, dominating style, and he did with box 12 - £100. This time Patricia was happy, she should have run to Buzz and given him a cuddle, but Noel hugged her while she stayed on the chair - getting up was too much effort until she gets the cosmetic surgery. The offer was £32,000. She asked for advice from the contestants - Carlton would take the money, Rich reminded her that she felt box 2 (her box) was lucky. She went to the audience and then realised that they were students, they would tell her to keep going. She turned to Noel - 'Deal'. As Noel hugged her she said in to his ear, 'I very nearly went all the way then'.

Round six: Becca, box 3 - £50. Peter, box 5 - £3000. 'We'll have the black widow' - £50,000. The board was left with £500 against £250,000. The offer would have been £92,000.

Noel opened her box - it was £250,000. The £750 was with Joan in box 7.

So Patricia could have won the big one, but was she bothered? No! She had won £32,000, which would allow her to realise all of her ambitions, and even buy an exercise bike. If Morris or Trevor had been sitting in the chair today, then we would have seen the first £250,000 winner, but most people (I think) would have dealt when Patricia did, if not before - so she did well enough.

Patricia won £32,000.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Lofty's Game Report

Our bearded master of ceremonies meets us at the front door, welcoming one and all to todays game of DOND. Its Tuesday, and I am feeling a little better about life, the universe, etc. - I havent't seen an advert with Noel in it for at least 24 hours.

Today's player was Lofty, so called because he was tall, he was blonde-haired (dyed I suspect), and he was from Yorkshire - a northern, blonde Tony Adams lookalike. To cheer him on from the audience was his mother, who had brought him up alone, his pregnant girlfirend and his friend Paul. Noel thanked him for the bucket loads of support and energy he had given to DOND already. Did he feel he was lucky? Everyone had bad luck in their lives, but he had an amazing mum, an amazing girlfriend, and he would soon have an amazing baby, so he was lucky. And from that point on, only mother-hating, baby-fearing, girlfriend-less monsters from Lancashire could dislike him. To further help out Lofty, Noel was, for the first time, wearing DOND cufflinks. 'Come on' said Lofty, not for the first time. Noel said that if Lofty said 'Come on', more than 20 times, he would have to buy Noel a beer. Lofty replied if he won big money, Noel could have all the drinks he wanted. This was a bit like Mr Burns getting Homer to pay for Christmas.

James was away ill, so Noel said Jo would open box 22 for him.

Round one: Scott, the new guy, opened box 6 - £500 - and Lofty was off the chair 'yes,yes', but he didn't say 'come on'. June next with box 8 - £20,000 - although the audience went quiet, Lofty was unperturbed. Rich opened box 5 - £750. Lofty was stroking his chin, 'Who has the penny...Buzz', he opened box 3 - £10. Finally for round Janey opened box 10 - 10p, a really strong opener. The Banker said that Lofty was 'one of the best contestants DOND had ever had' . I am not sure what made him think that, maybe he wasn't from Lancashire either? He felt that with Lofty gone, the remaining contestants would be rudder-less. The offer was £9400. Lofty seemed to give this offer serious consideration, as well he might it was one of the highest opening offers ever. But then he said 'No deal' and added, 'come on', so Noel was happy.

Round two: Lovely Jo opened box 9 - £35,000. 'Thats a bit of a blow', said Lofty, his mouth hiding behind linked hands. 'Go on Colin, give us your insight'. Colin, reckoned there were 'five elephants in this box lofty'. Noel shook his head in bewilderment, Colin was worse than Pat M. Colin opened box 1 - £5. Perhaps a pound was an elephant in Colin's world? I wonder what an 8 ton, grey thing with a trunk is called? 'One more, one more, think blue...Louise, number 11'. After the break, Louise lifted the lid on £50,000 - had Lofty turned down the highest offer he was likely to receive? The offer now was £6000. Again Lofty gave this serious consideration, reflecting on the number of times he had seen the big amounts disappearing, it already felt like a deal early game, Lofty was being ultra-conservative.

Round three: Despite the earlier declaration, Lofty got Suzanne to open James' box 22 - 1p. Lofty was up immediately, giving it 'yes' and 'come on', his girlfriend had her hands over her mouth. Lofty rushed over to give Suzanne a kiss while Noel speculated 'I wonder if Suzanne also has the big one?'. Patricia next, box 2 - £1. Lofty was now very, very happy, singing 'oh yes, hokey kokey kokey'. Noel had to stop him, 'hang on Lofty, hang on, we have to get to the next offer, one more to go'. Lofty took the advice, and after a suitable period for reflection he opted for Mark, box 14 - £50 - and then Lofty was away again 'get in there'. The offer was now £18,000, Lofty went white, hands on head, he stood, looking across to his mum and girlfriend. I think Noel told him the offer without a great deal of build up, because he expected to get on with the game. However Lofty was thrown into turmoil, he said 'and we take a break?', but Noel just laughed. Lofty got his girlfriend down, I felt, 'its a bit early in the game for this sort of thing...unless he is going to deal?' His girlfriend said through tears, 'We've just seen games turn round so quickly' her voice squeaky, the Yorkshire accent nervous. Noel went to Lofty's Mum, her advice: 'its what they need'. The board contained three blues against eight red. Lofty started talking up the board, 'not even Morris had a board this good'. Would he deal? Noel asked the question. Lofty stood to attention, facing the board. He thought long and hard: yesterday the Banker had crucified Jason, Lofty's mother wanted him to take it, his girlfriend wanted him to take it...so he did - 'Deal'.

Round four: Simone, box 15 - £10,000, the crowd cheering loudly but this was not what Lofty wanted to see now. Drew, box 13 - £1000, the audience now had the idea, they start groaning. Carlton, box 7 - £250. The offer would have been £36,000. Lofty had dreamt five times that he was offered £36,000, although it was a choice between £5 and £75,000.

Round five: Joan, box 21 - £100. He was finding it very easy to hit the low numbers. Finally gorgeous Becca broke the spell, box 19 - £100,000. But Richard with box 16 ended the round the wrong way - £5000. The offer would now have been £48,000, how many times did he dream that? Not once, of course, so much for dreams.

Round six: Fran, box 20 - £15,000. Stevie, box 17 - £3000. Three boxes left, could Lofty really have the big one in his box? He went for Peter, box 18 - £250,000 - reflief all round, but short lived, as Lofty pointed out, he could still have the £75,000. The offer would have been £22,000.

Noel opened Lofty's box 12 to find 50p. and Lofty was delighted, rushing, screaming around the studio before cuddling his girlfriend. Suzanne had the £75,000 in box 4.

Lofty won an amount of money which allowed the pair of them to give their baby a good start - there was too much on his shoulders for Lofty to take even the smallest risk. And in any case he took the offer at the end of round three, which for most of the last four weeks has been the highest offer in any given game. But its difficult to maintain interest once the deal is made, I think a further incentive to make people keep going might be to not reveal the contents of the unopened boxes after the deal is made, and to close the show early. Of course it would completely muck up the programming schedules but hey....thats not my problem. Anyway, good for Lofty, but not a very complling game.

Lofty won £18,000.

Top articles in this blog

Here are links to the most popular posts in this blog so far (excluding game reports). Please let me know if any of the links fail - blogger has this nasty habit of changing the file names from time to time. (Go here for a list of all previous game reports)

1. Behind the scenes at DOND, hits on this page have gone off the scale, RandomThoughts has done it again finding Tan's pictures of his time with the show. We obtained Tan's permission before adding this post and the insight is fascinating.

2. See if you can beat the Banker, a very popular online version of the game posted by RandomThoughts

3. A downward spiral? Adie was just asking a question and suggesting the odd change here and there, there was no need for the death threats...

4. Please make it live, I just know its not going to happen, not least from the comments to this post and Adie's above, but I am going to really enjoy saying to Endemol 'I told you so', when the chickens come home to roost.

5. A letter to Endemol, Maxine upset a lot of people..including me.

6. Deal ya no deal Bal's first post looks at the differences between DOND in the UK and India.

7. Sacked for appearing on DOND, how does RandomThoughts find this stuff?

8. A Weak Week, Adie's angle on the previous seven days.

9. Room 101, another excellent missive from Adie, how does he think of this stuff?

10. A letter to Noel, can you seriously imagine anyone else presenting this programme?

11. A new life form? What makes someone who has never seen £10,000 in a lump sum before, say 'No deal' to £27,000, and keep playing until they end up with 1p?

12. Play the game, RandomThoughts regularly reports on the media's views about DOND, and this time he has found an online game version.

13. Student Speaks III - The best game ever, Chris continues reporting from the dark side.

14. When the unexpected happens, its not how you fall over, its how you get up afterwards.

15. Student Speaks II - The Wrong Stuff Chris gives the students' view on DOND and bemoans the lack of backbone among some players.

16. Making you an offer you can't refuse straight in at number one is Adie's excellent article on Banker strategies.

17. Risk behaviour a la DOND apparently the reason so many people like this post has nothing to do with main topic, but my rant about the BBC at the end.

18. There is no middle ground Love It or Don't Love It.

19.Student Speaks II - The Wrong Stuff and you thought students were hairy, drunken, sex-crazed layabouts.

20.Recognition at Last, just as its says on the tin.

21.Positively Noel, a brief look at the power of positivity thinking.

22.The Student Speaks: The Right Stuff, Chris is the newest member of our reporting community and this, his first post, got a lot of attention.

23.DOND around the world and From our own correspondent - France are getting a lot of attention. There is tremendous interest in what is happening elsewhere wrt DOND. However we need all you good people out there who have seen DOND outside the UK to write in and tells us what goes on.

24.Twice as nice Please tell me this isn't true!!

25.Beating the Banker or The House Always Wins Adie's regular look at the stats.

26.What is a life changing amount? Its all in the title.

27.Art Of War As It Applies To DOND, the most popular entry so far, look out for future titles such as Zen or No Zen, Buddism and the Banker, Schroedinger's Red Box, or perhaps So Long and Thanks for All The Red Boxes.

28.Its how you play the game, Lucy lost and I was reminded of a trip to Las Vegas in 1985.

29.Don't deal too early, DOND as it applies to real life (whatever that is).

30.Separated by a common language - Part 2, love 'em or hate 'em, you can't ignore them (because they will invade your country)

31.Take the money or open the box, some fascinating insights from Adie the StatsMan.

32.DOND should now be a live show, Endemol, are you reading this?

33.DOND and Logan's Run, seems that I'm not the only one to remember this cult film

34.Do you feel lucky, half empty or half full?

35.An Ode To Deal Or No Deal, now what rhymes with banker?

36.£3m TV Deal for Noel, cheap at twice the price, Edmonds is on a roll.

37.£3m TV Deal for Noel, I get the impression he is not in it for the money, but eventually even Noel had to say Deal.

38.Separated by a common language, trailers and clips from the US version of this show

39.Sibling Rivalry, why this is a true family show

40.Models for real life, DOND has become the subject of university study, the latest in a long list of models for problem solving

41.Kinda spooky don't you think?, chicken or egg, Noel or DOND?

Monday, May 22, 2006

Jason's Game Report

Its Monday, but thats not why I'm depressed. Its raining, masses of grey clouds barging across a dull sky, but thats not what makes me sad. No, its Noel advertising DOND for The Sun. How has it come to this? This game is not meant for the likes of The Sun...is it?

Anyway, to work, Noel appears as bright as ever. Today it was Jason taking the walk of wealth with box 17. Jason had written in his profile that he was Jason von Willberough, direct descendent of the Hapsburg Willberoughs whose dynasty ruled parts of Europe from 800 AD until 1956. He lived in Woking with Princess Karina. Now I have no idea why he wrote that, nor indeed why Noel read it out. The real Jason had been an estate agent but then went in to re-development and lost a packet, or as he said, 'it didn't quite work out'. He looked as if he was a veteran boxer i.e. a well-punched face, a mixture of Bernie Winters and Lou Costello, he couldn't go home with £5,000, he was here to win the big money.

Round one: Jason was 'strangely drawn' to Mark's box 5 - £20,000. In a brave decision to get rid of any bad luck early he went for Stevie, box 20 - £50,000 - she was clearly back on form. Lofty next with box 3 - £5. Jason now had a chance to cheer loudly and took it with both hands. Louise, the new girl, was going to be next with box 14, and then he changed his mind because his daughter had advised him to keep 14 to the end. So he went for Patricia, box 1 - £35,000. As Noel pointed out this was shaping to be one of the worst opening rounds ever. For the final box of the round, Jason decided on Rich with box 8 - 10p. Taking up the estate agents mantle, the Banker described the board as nicely open-plan, with a clear view of the back wall (where power five reds should be). He offered £1400. Jason didn't waste time on it - No deal.

Round two: Carlton, box 6 - £100,000 - a nervous laugh from Jason at his bad luck. He asked if anyone had a feeling that they had a blue in their box - no-one was helping. He asked each contestant, starting at the beginning of the West Wing, they all said, one by one, that they had no feeling, or that they felt theirs might be red. All, that is, until he got to June, about half-way through the East Wing. She said 'I have a blue', so Jason went with that. June opened box 13 - £250,000 - I couldn't help but laugh, it was just so awful. Jason was having an unbelievably bad game - by mid-way through round two we were down to a one box game - £75,000. After the break Drew opened box 13 - 50p. The offer was now £2800, Jason quickly determined that were still a lot of reds higher than that amount and so, with conviction, he said - 'No deal'.

Round three: As Peter opened box 19 he said 'don't worry, keep the faith and we will get there' - £1000 - another red, the bad luck was relentless. Each time the camera returned to jason, it was to catch his action of looking up from his shoes. Suzanne next with box 21, she wanted to give him hope, 'this is blue', she said, but box 21 had £3000. Noel was struggling to find words as Jason kept finding red. 'Help me out', he pleaded to James. Box 11 opened - £15,000 - silence, Jason was alone, he could rely on no-one to save him. The board now contained three reds against eight blues, but keeping him going was the £75,000. The offer now was £1999. Noel opinioned that this level of bad luck could not be sustained. Jason checked with his friend Paul who was in the audience, he rather unhelpfully suggested to the treat the board as numbers. Jason returned to Noel - his voice quieter now - 'No deal'.

Round four: Colin sounded drunk and I have absolutely no idea what he was talking about, he opened box 18, £250 - Jason was delighted, but the 1p was still out there. He looked to Joan, box 16 - £5000 - he turned away, only two reds left. Jason asked Becca for a song, she offered to give him one later and quickly clarified that she meant a song; Jason was having no luck. After the break Becca opened box 15 - £100. Jason was happy with the blue, but he was rattled, his face was like the moon, watered eyes, flushed cheeks. His offer now was £5000. He was looking at a board with only two reds - both of which were above the offer, but both could go in the next round. He asked for a sweep, eight of his fellow contestants said 'Deal', perhaps exposing more about their own inclinations than they should. Noel returned to Jason and asked the question and he responded as if punch-drunk - 'No deal'.

Round five: Richard opened box 22 - £500. Fran had box 12 - £1, two blues in a row, could this be the light at the end of a very long tunnel. No! Janey opened box 7 - £75,000 - and that was it. Jason's head was on the desk, the crowd groaning, Noel speechless. Jason lifted his head with a drawn-on half-smile. When the offer came it was £950, and even the half-smile had gone. The board had now four blues against a single red - he went for it, following his comments at the beginning of the game he had no option, 'no deal'.

Round six: box 9 from Buzz - £50 - Stevie was back on Reds, Buzz was back on blues. Just for a moment I wondered if Jason might scrape through in the same way Emma had done on Saturday. He went for box 2 from Jo - £10,000 - my question was answered. Jason couldn't look, he had realised what had happened from the crowd's response. Eventually he took his hands away from his eyes and folded them in front of him, he had just been told that he was to be hanged, all that was left was to decide on his last supper. Box 14, from Louise - £10. The 1p and £750 were still in play, but Jason just wanted to go home, or at the very least back to the hotel. The offer now was £300. Jason didn't want to be there anymore and he could not cope with winning 1p, he dealt. As Noel wrapped up the game, Jason sat in shock, exhaustion, a face that you might use at funerals. In his box he had £750. Simone opened box 4 for the 1p. Jason was stunned but managed to string some words together to thank everyone for the experience, he was sure he would take a great deal away from it (perhaps, but not in cash).

So there we are, its still Monday, the sky is still grey, Noel is still advertising for The Sun, and now we have just watched one of the worst games from DOND so far - pass the arsenic someone please.

Jason won £300.

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Another Strategy

It is clear from the shows and Tan's photos, that the contestants are one big happy family during their time with DOND.

Now what I am about to suugest may not be very entertaining to watch (I am not sure) but why don't they agree to pool their winnings together? The probability of the £250,000 coming up is 1 in 22, but has not yet been won despite us watching game 160. However if they all agreed to share their winnings - something like 22 games after you play, you take a 22nd of the cash pool - and all contestants agree to go to the end - then the big one should come up regularly and they should each win something close to £25,000.

If, and perish the thought, DOND comes to an end, then after the last show, winnings should be shared out amongst 44 (as opposed to 22).

Just a thought ;-)

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Emma's Game Report

Its not just another Saturday night, tonight its Eurovision, and at home, Sue is doing the finishing touches on a multi-national dinner night, with flags from around the world and food from as many as we could think of. You may have to forgive the odd typo as I have been testing out Scotland's most famous export, just to make sure it hadn't gone off you understand. Anyway, enough about the domestics, we're here for Deal or No Deal, or maybe it should be 'dial or no dial' as the top money for tonight's phone-in game is £30,000. And I now find out that DOND are also celebrating Eurovision, the contestants are all dressed as euro-singers, the music in the background is all your old favourites, and I am just not going to even try and recognise who they are supposed to be.

The walk of wealth tonight is for Emma, a gorgeous blonde, and now wearing a blonde wig. After 26 shows, she arrives at the desk with box 3, dressed as Dusty Springfield (I think) in a little red number with heavy gold eye liner and massive false eye lashes. Daz, her fiance, is in the audience, he looks like the bald Nazi bad guy from Raiders of the Lost Ark, who was taken out by an aircraft prop. I am pretty sure Noel won't get too close to Emma with Daz so close by. Emma was keen to get going, giggling excitedly and wiggling on her stool.

Round one: Pat, box 6 - £100. Mark, box 15 - £5, a very good start, Emma cheering wildly, the audience roaring and stamping their feet. June was next with box 17 - £100,000 - and the noise died away, leaving the haunting music Endemol add on afterwards. Emma copied Raj, clapping and gesturing to get the audience to join in, trying to restore the atmosphere. Buzz was next, he opened box 19 - £50,000, and again they were becalmed. Rich looking very unhappy opened box 4 - £20,000. The round could have been worse, but not by much. 'He is just going to love me, the Banker', said Emma holding on to her hair, well her wig anyway. 'He'll want to marry you', replied Noel (join the queue). 'Hello Bristol, here are the votes of the UK banking jury...', said the banker. He was wearing a small pair of golden pants...his 'thong for Europe', a truly horrible image. The offer was £2000. 'Good offer', said Emma automatically, and Noel joined in, but Emma just wanted to get on to round two - 'No deal' she said and encouraged the audience to give it large (as Emma might say).

Round two: 'Does anyone feel like they have a blue?' asked Emma. Colin said 'there's 1p in here'. So she went with that. he opened box 7 - 1p - just amazing, she rushed over to kiss him. Carlton opened box 11 - £500, and Emma was now shouting for joy. 'Great round' said Noel, but there was one more box to go. Emma went for Suzanne with box 2. After the break, Noel confirmed with Emma that she still wanted Suzanne, and then the lid was lifted on £250,000. Suddenly the mood had changed, thoughts of Eurovision had disapeared, the party had been transformed into a wake. Silence had drifted in, Emma bit her bottom lip, shook her head - 'gutted'. The board contained seven reds against seven blues, and Noel talked about the board while the phone rang for the longest time. Emma asked him several times to answer it before he finally did. The Banker's summary was that the big one had just gone 'boom bang a bang' - his offer was £850. Emma was angry, maybe with the Banker, maybe with hersef, maybe just with the fates - 'No deal'.

Round three: Emma now unable to look, went for James, box 12 - £250. Then she chose Drew with box 14, as he lifted the lid Emma gasped as she saw red, but it was £1000, she realised it was OK, and started clapping. To end the round Richard, the new guy, opened box 1 - £50. Everyone was happy again. The offer was now £4800 - the audience went 'oooo' - but Emma was clearly not tempted - 'No deal'. The board had six reds against five blues, the highest being £75,000, and Emma was now set on that.

Round four: She was getting married on the 8th September, so she went for box 8. 'I just hope this doesn't put the knockers on your marriage', said Noel, and you just know that Noel has done it again: Janey opened box 8 - £75,000 - dreams were being burnt with every box. Emma was struggling to keep a lid on her emotions, her expectations were now down at £35,000. Lofty, box 13 - £10. Emma's special number was 21 which she was going to keep - a very good idea because Stevie had box 21. So Emma went to Fran with box 10. After another break the lid was lifted on £35,000, and Emma's face went bright pink despite the make-up, she sunk her jaw into her right fist. The offer came quickly - £1800 - again it was too much of a drop for Emma to consider so she didn't, not even for a few seconds - her 'No deal' was immediate. By this point the board's highest amount was £15,000.

Round five: Simone, box 9 - 50p. Hope was rising again, Emma had two fists in the air. Joan next with box 20 - £15,000 - Emma droped her face into both hands, it seemed that no sooner was a chink of light appearing than it was being taken away. Jason, box 5, he promised 10p - and he delivered £10,000. Emma's eyes were watering now, her head had dropped - and the audience were silent. The offer from the banker was £500. Daz shouted 'go all the way babe, you can do it'. Emma rejected the option of a sweep - 'No deal'. The board contained three blues, £3000 and £5000.

Round six: Gorgeous Becca, full of concern, opened box 16 - £3000 - 'a one box game' said Noel, reflecting the stark change in Emma's ambitions over the previous 30 minutes. Emma was visibly shaking, she went for Pete, box 22 - 10p. Emma was in a dilemma now as both numbers left were important to her, she said 'the question is: is Stevie due a blue?'. Emma thought she might go with Daz's birthday, 'What do ya think babe?', looking at Daz. 'I have no input, you can do it, I'll still luv ya no matter what'. She settled on Box 18, lovely Jo opened £1 - Emma's first piece of real luck all day. The offer would now be between £750 and £5000 - it was £2000. She asked the audience if she should deal - nine of them said yes. Emma had 20 shows and only 5 blues, but she was against Stevie who didn't have any. Noel was saying 'do you want to go quickly so that there is no sw....', but he couldn't finish the sentence - the phone rang. The swap had been offered. I've always said I'd never swap a box', said Emma, calling up Daz to stand beside her - she had made her decision, no swap. Noel talked down the opening, saying that she had such relentless bad luck this was almost bound to be blue, and then he opened the box. Wrong again Noel - she had won £5000 - and of course he was delighted to be wrong. Stevie, the Black Widow, had £750 in box 21. And as Noel pointed out, she had beaten the banker, the most she had been offered was £4800 (incidentally it was again the offer at the end of round three).

Emma came out the other side of a nightmare with a small consolation, but this was not a game she had, or could have had, any control over. At no stage had she been given a decent offer because the boxes had fallen badly throughout the game - she had little option but to keep going. The fact that she managed to do this speaks volumes for her. And perhaps it was further consolation that the phone-in winner also won just £5000. At the end of the day her biggest decision was to swap or not, it was especially difficult because she was up against Stevie whose record of reds had been 100% up until then - well done Emma - now can I hear a chorus of 'Making Your Mind Up'.

Emma won £5000.

Friday, May 19, 2006

Raj's Game Report

Friday, just like that, its the end of the week, Noel was wearing his pyjamas, at least the top half, and it was time for our daily dose of Deal or No Deal. 'You could have a good weekend with £15,000' said Noel talking up the phone-in game - I clearly don't live in the same world as Noel. He then went on to summarise the week so far; Tom yesterday, had a brilliant game, giving the others a lot of confidence, but he could have done better.

Today's player was Raj Pama (or possibly Parmar), he reminded me of an Indian version of Robert Mitchum (circa 1948), who had been waiting through 32 shows. Raj was 25, from Bradford, an events manager at a local radio station. He loved Bollywood and wanted to go to India wih his winnings and become a star. Noel said he certainly could - he had a 'big twinkle', which Noel missed and Raj managed to leave well alone, although there was a lot of sniggering going on the in wings. A very popular guy was Raj, Buzz voiced the thoughts of them all saying he was sorry to see him leave. Raj said he wasn't leaving. Apart from the big twinkle, which is really none of my business, Raj had a glint in his eyes, and a face that smiled even when hit with a cricket bat.

Round one: Suzanne, box 10 - 1p. Raj was immediately off his chair, hands up to his mouth, the crowd cheering. Emma was going to be next. 'Why?' asked Noel. 'Because she is too gorgeous' said Raj, no argument there. She opened box 1 - £50. The equally gorgeous Becca was next, box 5 - £20,000 - not the power five but close. The crowd went quiet. Raj turned round and clapped, beckoning them to join in. He looked back to the contestants, the smile wider than ever. Janey, box 14 - £500 - yells and whoops coming from the crowd. Finally for the opening round Raj went for Fran, box 20 - £35,000. Noel looked serious, 'The promising start is not sustained, how will the banker see you?' he asked. 'I'm glam, take me for what I am' said Raj, ok Robert Mitchum wouldn't have said that, maybe we are going for Rock Hudson. The banker claimed to be eating humble pie after Tom's game because he had paid £33,000 for a £5 box, he offered £5200. 'No deal' said Raj, he was loving every minute of this.

Round two: Lofty, box 6 - £15,000. The smile was shifting now, becoming wistful, but he was still smiling. Rich next with, box 7 - £5. Buzz was going to be next, because, as he said himself he 'only deals in blues'. 'A Bollywood epic, or a straight-to-video disaster', mused Noel after the break. Buzz opened box 17 - £3000. The round was good but not great. Noel and Raj both expected a rise in the offer, and they were right - £10,400. Raj could easily get to India for that amount, and live like a king when there. For a moment he faltered, his dream was in reach. I could just picture him in gold silks, surrounded by Indian dancers, wooing his heroine with some song that required lots of smiles and twinkles. But he knew everyone in front of him, and we now know from Tan's photos that Raj was a player in the hotel bar, he had a reputation to keep up. The dream would have to wait, his 'no deal' was emphatic. Emma jumped up and down in support.

Round three: He was going for Stevie with box 4. Noel tried harder than ever to disuade him, but the number was not one of the ones he wanted to keep, so Raj insisted. Stevie of course opened her lid on a power five - £75,000. He went to his ex-neighbour for comfort, June opened box 2 - £10. Gorgoeus Jo, the new, buxom, lass, opened box 15 - £50,000. Raj showed a picture of his Mum - really beautiful - the banker asked how much for his Mum's phone number. '£250,000' said Raj, the first contestant to actually consider selling his mother on national TV. The offer now was £6600, a drop of £3800; the banker had baited the hook, and now Raj was being reeled in. He had no choice - 'No deal'.

Round four: Raj was hesitant, the smile hidden behind praying hands, he settled on Patricia, box 22 - £10,000. Simone warned that she had not had anything over £20,000 yet. Noel double-checked with Raj that he wanted to go ahead given Simone's warning, reminding him that the last time he ignored a warning (from Stevie) it had been disastrous. Again Raj insisted, 12 was not one of his numbers, Simone opened box 12 - £100,000. This was now a one box game - a drop of £245,000 from the top to the next highest box. Raj had to avoid the big one in all future box selections, he went for Colin, box 19 - £250,000 - game over. It all seemed to happen in slow motion. The studio was silenced, contestants were in shock, a star of Bollywood had been extinguished, and yet Raj still smiled, he genuinely seemed to be enjoying the twists of his journey. The offer was now £320, and again he had no choice but to continue, by this point it was already clear that he was going to the end of the road.

Round five: He had to get rid of the last two numbers that were not on his list: Carlton, box 13 - £250. Drew, 16 - £750.Now he was down to numbers he was supposed to keep, he was looking at four blues against two reds. He went for Mark, box 18 - £100. Waiting for the banker's call Noel started talking complete nonsense about the banker making 'a just offer based on Raj's contribution to the series'. The banker's offer was £640, which was only to be expected. Noel reminded Raj of the previous Raj who left with 10p. Raj nodded but still said 'No deal'.

Round six: The contestants were holding hands hoping that he would end up with the £5000 that was still left on the board. Raj turned, asking the audience to hold hands as well, and they started chanting 'blue, blue, blue'. Raj went for Peter, box 3 - 10p - perfect. Jason next, opened box 9 - £1000 - only one red left in play. Raj, now dancing to the tune of the audiences' blue chant, selected James with box 11 - £5000. Again the studio fell silent, this man had been part of DOND for 32 shows and he was going to leave with pennies, he was left with the choice between £1 and 50p. The offer was 64p. Raj almost laughing hysterically said 'No deal'. This was not a tragedy because Raj genuinely seemed to be enjoying himself, he had tremendous powers of resilience.

Noel opened Raj's box 8, he had £1. Joan opened box 21 - 50p. The camera went to Emma who was crying, eventually the contestants crowded round Raj to hug, they were all much more upset than he seemed to be, so maybe it was to make them feel better.

So Tom's game was a flash in the pan, the banker reigns supreme. But Raj did win: not in money, but he earned huge respect for the way he handled himself throughout the game, and I suspect that we have not seen the last of this man. Raj may not be able to get to Bollywood, but perhaps the Kumars at No 42?

Raj won £1

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Tom’s show

(Tonight's reporter is Sue)

Pink paisley is not Noel’s style I can’t help but wonder if it’s left over from his 80’s era - please put it back in your wardrobe. Thursdays show starts with yet another appeal to move the game away from the banker’s advantage. It’s Tom who is selected to walk the walk – a vision in yellow and a popular choice from the studio. It is his 21st game and he brings a Photo’s of his Mum and Sister Sophie and another of a crowd of friends at his 25th birthday party. Tom Grimes is shaking big time whilst telling us he is a bit of an adventure sport freak he now adds DOND to his list of exploits. His biggest risk in life so far has a been a bet of $2000 first won at poker and then placed on 3 card brag – and lost gain. Noel thinks this means we have a big gambler and therefore a possible future Quarterofamillionaire in our midst.

Round 1
Tom’s & Nan’s birthdays is 5 so Buzz’s box is selected and he starts the game with £10, followed by Rich box 9 and £1k. Next up is Carlton behind box 4 who has £50k a bit of a blow says Tom. Box 1 and £750 is next (can’t get her name). Joan is next her maiden game and box 3 gets rid of the dreaded penny to huge applause all round. Not a bad start but a dent in the power four. Tom’s first offer from the banker is the same as Sarah took home £6,000. He gives it a few seconds due consideration and announces no deal in reply to the question.

Round 2
Tom says he had hoped for psychic powers once sitting in the hot seat but was finding the view no different from his previous position in the line up. Lofty box 10 is chosen next and he reveals £250 in blue. Second in the second round is Raj and no 19 containing £100. Lovely ladyfriend June is next with box 18 – Noel halts proceedings with a break. She opens up 10p and Tom is loving this game so far – a complete blue round just when he needed it. The offer is £18k and the studio is shocked at that. I have to believe he is tempted but who ever deals at round two???? Tom’s friends advise him that he only wanted enough to take Mum and Sophie away somewhere nice. A long delay after the question and – no deal is his reply.

Round 3
Tom feels lucky – I am not so sure. Jason starts this next round with a blow to the tune of £75k. ’Mummy’ (I can’t read her name label) and box 12 is next - £10k. He considers Stevie but decides to leave the ‘black widow’ going for James instead and box 16 - £35k. The offer from the man on the phone is £4011 (Stevie has box 11). No deal comes back quite smartly. Tom is on his feet geeing up support.

Round 4
Number 8, Janie? and £15k is his first call this round. Becca and box 13 lightens the mood with 50pence. Next up is Suzanne and box 17 – once again a break is called leaving us in suspense, willing the ads to hurry up and be over. Back with a cuppa 5 reds and 4 blues on the board - box 17 contains the £3k.
Tom falters a little and almost calls his next box – interrupted by the phone and the offer is now £11k. He consults with Emma she is positive – his answer is no deal.

Round 5
In…..trest….in, says Tom Grimes. Next box is Peter box 20 a blue for the crew is requested – a red is produced £20k is gone. No 6 is next a lady in orange (with another unreadable name badge) opens the £500 to the delight of all in the room. Noel appeals for calm and concentration. Tom goes for (maybe in more ways than one) Emma and box 7, she reveals £5k Tom is bouncing up and down and shouting now. There remains, £100k and £ 250k on the red side and £1, £5 and 50p on the blue side of the board.

The banker is subdued apparently, Tom is busy taking deep breaths trying to stay calm – the offer is £33k. He surely must deal????? The mates are called down from the seats behind – they advise Tom to ‘take the dough’. The remaining boxes are all special numbers for Tom and he thinks they mean him to go on, but £33k is an awful lot of money and everyone is telling him so. Noel counsel’s Tom with the two scenario’s on waking up tomorrow morning. His reply to the question – Deal. Phew!


Playing on to the final outcome, box 11 is opened first - £1. Colin and box 15 is next with £50. Finally in this round he would have selected Drew and box 22 - £100k. Leaving Tom with blue -£5 and red - £250k up on the board. His offer at this point would have been £99k – three times what he dealt at. Whose box is it in? Noel opens box 14 Tom tries not to look as he reveals the £5 to genuine delight all round. The final word in this very entertaining game goes to Stevie – opening her box no 11 and it contains the £250k - of course. Finally someone had the sense to get the hint and leave her to the end.

Good call Tom – great game I know you will enjoy the dough.

Bye for now - don’t forget to send us your comments
Sue

Tom won £33,000.

Hit parade - chart 10

Unbelievably Pat is pulling away from the other runners, increasing her lead by a couple of percentage points over the last week. This probably reflects the terrible games that we have witnessed over the last week - although Pat too had a very bad game. Another name from beyond the horizon is Lucy, who has had a resurgence of support and is now back in second. I expected Morris to be in the lead by now, instead his star is waning, and Noel should have regained third place by next week. Amazingly, no-one has entered or left the top ten over the last week, and remember, votes older than four weeks are removed from the poll.


1. Pat (Pat)
2. Lucy (Morris)
3. Morris (Lucy)
4. Noel (Massimo)
5. Massimo (Noel)
6. Dave (Banker)
7. Banker (Kirsty)
8. Kirsty (Simon)
9. Raj (Raj)
10. Simon (Dave)

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Sarah's Game Report

Wednesday's game, Noel asked would it be 'dream money or a nightmare experience for ...Sarah'. I am at once happy that we find out more about the lovely Sarah, and yet devastated that this will be her last appearance, we didn't have a chance to get to know each other, no moonlight serenades, no skipping through fields of daffodils wearing German lederhosen, no laughing hysterically together at re-runs of Ironside. Sarah Monk took the walk of wealth with box 12, and then struggled to get on the high chair due to tight jeans (I'm in heaven, I'm in heaven). Sarah is a recognised author (because I would recognise her if I saw her again), she looked like Claire Goose from Casualty, only better. Unfortunately (for me) she is married to Terry, and felt lucky because she had Terry, and unlucky as the day her lottery numbers came up was the only day she forgot to buy them. A photo of Fred 'her baby', a Heinz 57 dog, who according to Sarah, was very lonely and in need of a friend. It had taken two years of constant nagging to get Fred, and she needed the money to persuade Terry to let Fred have a friend (now if you lived with me Sarah, you could have all the dogs you wanted, but my confidence is a bit shaken when you say things like 'two years of constant nagging').

Round one: She asked Rich how he felt about his box - he had no feeling. Sarah decided to select him anyway and Rich opened box 13 - £50. Noel asked why did she take a risk on the first box, 'Its ok to get advice, but its up to you whether you take it or not' she replied. Sarah made it very clear that she would not be rushed, she was going to take as long as needed for each decision. No problem for Noel, he went off stage to get a newspaper (the Metro) and a chair. [Is the metro distributed in Bristol?] Finally she selected Susanne with box 2 - 50p. Sarah already seemed to be struggling, concern showing across her face. Fran was next with box 4 - £3000 - a low red was fine. A slight smile returned to her face. Sarah decided on Colin, who struggled with his box yesterday, so Noel took him slowly through the process - 'Seal to no seal', a pun that went over the heads of the audience. Colin opened box 18 - £750. 'This is a fantastic opening round if you can hold this together you will be doing really well', said Noel. Why does Noel do this, its invariably the wrong thing to say. I thought bring on the £250,000, but no, James opened box 16 - £15,000. The offer when it eventually made its convoluted way to Noel's mouth, was £9005. Sarah was not stopping at he end of round one - 'No deal'.

Round two: Sarah was determined to take the longest time for each decision, so it is likely that for many of the boxes the lead up was edited down. Mark finally opened box 9 - £5000. Simone next with box 22, and this was Sarah's first big mistake - £75,000. Sarah selected Raj with box 10, and as always with the third box of round two, the lid was lifted after the break - £1. 'Now what are you thinking' asked Noel. 'I love Raj', said Sarah, wiggling on the stool. The camera cut across to Terry, who didn't look as if he loved Raj. The offer was £4000. Sarah was smiling, her mind made up before the offer was made - 'No deal'.

Round three: Buzz, box 14 - £10 (he loves these blues). June, box 21 - £35,000 - second of the power five gone. Noel walked towards June, 'You've done it again, June - £35,000', in the style of Del Boy talking to a deaf Uncle Albert. Emma wearing a similar shirt to Sarah, looks a bit like Sarah, think I'll go for Emma after Sarah's gone, I'm so fickle. She opened box 1 - 10p. The banker offered what he suggested was walking money - £15,000. Sarah didn't even flinch, but she did check with Terry. She said to Noel 'This is a really good offer, but you know when you reach that deal or die moment - no deal'. It seemed impossible to deal with three of the power five still in play, including the top two, but very often the offer at the end of round three turns out to be the highest of the day. The banker expects a 'no deal' at this point, so he amplifies this offer to excentuate the pain when he offers low at the end of round four.

Round four: Six reds against five blues. Carlton, the new guy, opened box 5 - 1p - and Sarah ran around kissing Carlton and Noel, the brazen hussie. Noel, with a Kevin Keegan sense of timing, said 'this is shaping up to be one of the best games we've had in a long while', and you just know that something bad is going to happen. Of course Drew had no chance, he opened box 3 - £250,000. 'Poo' said Sarah. She was going for Peter, box 11, and then Peter said that she should not, so after the break she went for Stevie - where has Sarah been for the past week or so? There was a discussion about how awful Stevie had been, consistently destroying people's games, yet Sarah was determined despite Noel advising against it. Stevie opened box 6 - £100,000 - Sarah was left with her gorgeous mouth hanging open in shock. The offer from the banker was £5000, Sarah had just lost £10,000. She was committed to the game now - 'No deal'.

Round five: Janey, box 7 - £250. Jason, box 15 - £10,000. The board only had £50,000 of the power five still in play. Patricia, who could probably give Stevie a good run for her money, opened box 20 - £50,000. Sarah's smile had faded, she was in damage limitation, her voice still steady, but without sparkle. The board had three blues against £20,000 and £1,000. The offer was £1500, but Sarah had made her decision even before hearing what the offer was - 'no deal'.

Round six: Tom, box 17 - £1000. Gorgeous Becca, box 19 - £100. Contestants were holding hands by this point, praying like lambs in a slaughter house. Sarah went for Peter, her voice implying acknowledgement that this was against Peter's earlier advice. However Peter was insistent, so she changed her mind again, even though Lofty was also convinced that he had a red - Becca had her hands over face, almost unable to look. Even though the power five had gone, this was a tense moment. Lofty opened his box 8 - £5 (never trust Lofty's instinct) and Sarah ran across to kiss Peter. The offer now was £6000. The board contained £20,000 against £500. Terry said 'Sarah has come here to do a job, and she will just do it'. Sarah said, 'I am buying these guys a drink tonight - Deal'. Apparently contestants cannot be certain that they will be offered a swap, at least according to Noel, and as Peter had got her this far, she decided not to risk any further. [I think we need a definitive ruling on the swap issue.]

But of course Sarah's box had the £20,000, Peter only had £500 in his box 11, if she had kept going she would have been £14,000 better off. Why 'of course'? Because here was Sarah's lottery numbers again: she would have had the winning ticket if she had bought the box - its funny how people keep walking the same path over and over again.

Sarah won £6000.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Tan's Game Report

Noel introduces us to Tuesday's game. The banker is in the ascendency, according to Noel, Simon lost it, he folded (I feel this is very unfair on Simon), the banker felt he had a memorable victory. Its now been two weeks since Gaz won £100,000, and no-one has won more than £20,000 following that game.

Today would hopefully be a blues day for a tanned Tan, for it was he who had to take the walk of wealth, with box 20. During the preamble Tan explained that he had a dream about box 20, and he had found a piece of confetti paper with the number 20 written on it (he claimed to have photo of it on his phone but we didn't see this) - so he felt lucky. To add to this sense of luck he took 3 hemitite stones (his birth stone) from his pocket, and two four leaf clovers - 'I'm not really a spiritualist' apologising his way through this, the audience laughed. Tan talked quietly, he reminded me of a hundred programmers I have worked with, but nobody who I could point you to...although we are assured by the girls that he was very handsome. Indeed Noel started digging a hole for himself by remarking on how nice Tan's eyes were - Tan became red. He was an IT consultant in web programming and graphic design. It took Tan an age to enter heis expectations from the game in the blue book and then something silly happened; May 16th is his birthday, so the audience sang Happy Birthday, but of course this was all recorded 2 months ago. Finally we were ready to get on with the game.

Round one: June box 5 - £20,000. Tan had a few numbers including 20, which were special to him, he decided to keep those numbers in play until the end. Next was Fran with box 10 - £10. Mark opened box 12 - £10,000. The boxes were being selected easily, Tan cool, pointing to each in turn. Simone box 19 - £100. Then gorgeous Sarah in pink (Tan also called her gorgeous, so I have competition eh?), box 2 - £1000. The banker's offer was £7400 - 'its good', said Tan 'but I think I will have to go on, No deal'.

Round two: 'Not one of the power five and we get to a really powerful position', said Noel. Of course this was the kiss of death, beautiful Becca opened box 14 - £100,000, and Rich had £75,000 in box 18. Jason opened box 3 after the break - £50. The board now contained eight blues against 6 reds - Noel said that there was a strange aura around Tan, and that he felt Tan really did have £250,000 in his box - surely this was in an attempt to talk up tan's position vis-a-vis the banker. The banker offered £2000, and Tan immediately rejected it, quietly saying 'No deal'.

Round three: Colin, the new guy, opened box 1 - £500. Noel turned to Tan, 'Really important to have an all-blue round now, great start'. Janey, box 6 - 10p. The audience were cheering loudly by this point, there seemed to be a momentum with this. Tan went to Peter, box 17. he tried to saying something, but eventualy settled for 'Good luck', and then lifted the lid - £250,000 - silence. 'Thats bad', said Tan, hand to mouth, shaking his head, puffing. Eventually the audience clapped to try to encourage him but Tan was damaged. 'Whose birthday was it, exactly' asked the banker. The offer was now £4700. 'Does that cause a problem?' asked Noel. Tan looked up to him, and leaned back in his chair, 'Yes, it causes a problem'. A woman in the audience shout out, 'Its not a good offer'. Noel went to her with the microphone, 'its not going to change anything is it, its just a holiday'. The rest of the audience joined in shouting 'no deal'. At this point the banker phoned back, declaring that this was 'the stupidist audience we have ever had'. Tan said 'No deal'.

Round four: Tan's voice was shaking now, the money was very important to him, he was desperate to avoid hitting the last two power five still in play (£35k and £50k), he went for James, box 21 - £1. The audience cheered, Tan was walking around his desk, the cool exterior cracking. Susanne, box 4 - £5000. The audience faltered at the red and then clapped, it was low. One more blue needed to make this the pivotal round, after the break he went to Tom with box 13, 'there's a blue in there mate'. Tom's record on predictions was not good and Tan recognised this but decided to go with it anyway - WRONG - £50,000. The studio groaned. The banker told Noel to say the offer slowly for the sake of the audience - £1700. Tan asked the audience to stand if they thought he should deal - no-one did. So Tan went with that - 'No deal'.

Round five: Drew, box 9 - £750. Raj was back (sounding hoarse) with box 7 - £15,000. Stevie, box 11 - £3000. The board now contained 4 blues against the single red of £35,000. The offer now was £1020. Aftre a while Tan was watching Noel writing something on the desk, 'Why did you write the amount down twice' he asked. Noel stopped, 'because I have nothing to do until you are ready for the question'. The laughter broke the atmosphere nicely - Tan clearly felt he had no option but to go on - 'No deal'. You may ask why I am not describing the tension in this game; maybe it was Tan's quiet voice, or his lack of expression, but there was no tension. There was however, a strong feeling of inevitability - this game was going to end up with pennies.

Round five: Lofty box 8 - 1p. Tan went over to shake his hand. Patricia, box 16 - £35,000 and that was it, game over. Emma opened box 22 to take away even the possibility of a good night out - £250, leaving 50p and £5. 'Why did you change your mind about box 16, it was your birthday?' asked Noel Tan couldn't answer. But surely Tan was going for box 20?

The banker's offer was £1.99, Tan rejected it and won £5 - the 50p was with Buzz in box 7. Tan was close to tears, 'A bad game' was his summary, 'its about belief, if you lose that even for a second, its all over'. In the book Tan had written that he had 'no expectations from the game apart from a great experience, because experiences are kept and money is spent', a statement that pulled this game back from tragedy, and gave us all something positive to take away - well done Tan.