Emma's Game Report

Its not just another Saturday night, tonight its Eurovision, and at home, Sue is doing the finishing touches on a multi-national dinner night, with flags from around the world and food from as many as we could think of. You may have to forgive the odd typo as I have been testing out Scotland's most famous export, just to make sure it hadn't gone off you understand. Anyway, enough about the domestics, we're here for Deal or No Deal, or maybe it should be 'dial or no dial' as the top money for tonight's phone-in game is £30,000. And I now find out that DOND are also celebrating Eurovision, the contestants are all dressed as euro-singers, the music in the background is all your old favourites, and I am just not going to even try and recognise who they are supposed to be.

The walk of wealth tonight is for Emma, a gorgeous blonde, and now wearing a blonde wig. After 26 shows, she arrives at the desk with box 3, dressed as Dusty Springfield (I think) in a little red number with heavy gold eye liner and massive false eye lashes. Daz, her fiance, is in the audience, he looks like the bald Nazi bad guy from Raiders of the Lost Ark, who was taken out by an aircraft prop. I am pretty sure Noel won't get too close to Emma with Daz so close by. Emma was keen to get going, giggling excitedly and wiggling on her stool.

Round one: Pat, box 6 - £100. Mark, box 15 - £5, a very good start, Emma cheering wildly, the audience roaring and stamping their feet. June was next with box 17 - £100,000 - and the noise died away, leaving the haunting music Endemol add on afterwards. Emma copied Raj, clapping and gesturing to get the audience to join in, trying to restore the atmosphere. Buzz was next, he opened box 19 - £50,000, and again they were becalmed. Rich looking very unhappy opened box 4 - £20,000. The round could have been worse, but not by much. 'He is just going to love me, the Banker', said Emma holding on to her hair, well her wig anyway. 'He'll want to marry you', replied Noel (join the queue). 'Hello Bristol, here are the votes of the UK banking jury...', said the banker. He was wearing a small pair of golden pants...his 'thong for Europe', a truly horrible image. The offer was £2000. 'Good offer', said Emma automatically, and Noel joined in, but Emma just wanted to get on to round two - 'No deal' she said and encouraged the audience to give it large (as Emma might say).

Round two: 'Does anyone feel like they have a blue?' asked Emma. Colin said 'there's 1p in here'. So she went with that. he opened box 7 - 1p - just amazing, she rushed over to kiss him. Carlton opened box 11 - £500, and Emma was now shouting for joy. 'Great round' said Noel, but there was one more box to go. Emma went for Suzanne with box 2. After the break, Noel confirmed with Emma that she still wanted Suzanne, and then the lid was lifted on £250,000. Suddenly the mood had changed, thoughts of Eurovision had disapeared, the party had been transformed into a wake. Silence had drifted in, Emma bit her bottom lip, shook her head - 'gutted'. The board contained seven reds against seven blues, and Noel talked about the board while the phone rang for the longest time. Emma asked him several times to answer it before he finally did. The Banker's summary was that the big one had just gone 'boom bang a bang' - his offer was £850. Emma was angry, maybe with the Banker, maybe with hersef, maybe just with the fates - 'No deal'.

Round three: Emma now unable to look, went for James, box 12 - £250. Then she chose Drew with box 14, as he lifted the lid Emma gasped as she saw red, but it was £1000, she realised it was OK, and started clapping. To end the round Richard, the new guy, opened box 1 - £50. Everyone was happy again. The offer was now £4800 - the audience went 'oooo' - but Emma was clearly not tempted - 'No deal'. The board had six reds against five blues, the highest being £75,000, and Emma was now set on that.

Round four: She was getting married on the 8th September, so she went for box 8. 'I just hope this doesn't put the knockers on your marriage', said Noel, and you just know that Noel has done it again: Janey opened box 8 - £75,000 - dreams were being burnt with every box. Emma was struggling to keep a lid on her emotions, her expectations were now down at £35,000. Lofty, box 13 - £10. Emma's special number was 21 which she was going to keep - a very good idea because Stevie had box 21. So Emma went to Fran with box 10. After another break the lid was lifted on £35,000, and Emma's face went bright pink despite the make-up, she sunk her jaw into her right fist. The offer came quickly - £1800 - again it was too much of a drop for Emma to consider so she didn't, not even for a few seconds - her 'No deal' was immediate. By this point the board's highest amount was £15,000.

Round five: Simone, box 9 - 50p. Hope was rising again, Emma had two fists in the air. Joan next with box 20 - £15,000 - Emma droped her face into both hands, it seemed that no sooner was a chink of light appearing than it was being taken away. Jason, box 5, he promised 10p - and he delivered £10,000. Emma's eyes were watering now, her head had dropped - and the audience were silent. The offer from the banker was £500. Daz shouted 'go all the way babe, you can do it'. Emma rejected the option of a sweep - 'No deal'. The board contained three blues, £3000 and £5000.

Round six: Gorgeous Becca, full of concern, opened box 16 - £3000 - 'a one box game' said Noel, reflecting the stark change in Emma's ambitions over the previous 30 minutes. Emma was visibly shaking, she went for Pete, box 22 - 10p. Emma was in a dilemma now as both numbers left were important to her, she said 'the question is: is Stevie due a blue?'. Emma thought she might go with Daz's birthday, 'What do ya think babe?', looking at Daz. 'I have no input, you can do it, I'll still luv ya no matter what'. She settled on Box 18, lovely Jo opened £1 - Emma's first piece of real luck all day. The offer would now be between £750 and £5000 - it was £2000. She asked the audience if she should deal - nine of them said yes. Emma had 20 shows and only 5 blues, but she was against Stevie who didn't have any. Noel was saying 'do you want to go quickly so that there is no sw....', but he couldn't finish the sentence - the phone rang. The swap had been offered. I've always said I'd never swap a box', said Emma, calling up Daz to stand beside her - she had made her decision, no swap. Noel talked down the opening, saying that she had such relentless bad luck this was almost bound to be blue, and then he opened the box. Wrong again Noel - she had won £5000 - and of course he was delighted to be wrong. Stevie, the Black Widow, had £750 in box 21. And as Noel pointed out, she had beaten the banker, the most she had been offered was £4800 (incidentally it was again the offer at the end of round three).

Emma came out the other side of a nightmare with a small consolation, but this was not a game she had, or could have had, any control over. At no stage had she been given a decent offer because the boxes had fallen badly throughout the game - she had little option but to keep going. The fact that she managed to do this speaks volumes for her. And perhaps it was further consolation that the phone-in winner also won just £5000. At the end of the day her biggest decision was to swap or not, it was especially difficult because she was up against Stevie whose record of reds had been 100% up until then - well done Emma - now can I hear a chorus of 'Making Your Mind Up'.

Emma won £5000.