Simon's Game Report

Monday, I am not going to tell you how hard it was to get in front of the telly for the start of the program today, but I made it. As I settle into my comfy chair Noel is already talking about the risk-reward balance, about the timing, 'its not how you start it is how you finish', Jimmy Durante eat your heart out.

Today's player is Serious Simon form Hampshire. Far be it from me to suggest that Becca was unhappy to see him go, but she gave him a long hug. He is married to Charlie and they have two young children. Charlie was not present (good thing considering Becca's goodbye), although she had been there for Morris' game. 'So you are alone', said Noel. Simon was about to agree and then he looked out, 'no I have 21 friends here' as he gestured towards the other contestants who cheered their agreement back to him. Simon had been very strong as a contestant, giving good advice when asked and showing that he feared no-one when defending Sandy against the banker during her game.

Round one: Pat, box 22 - £75,000 - into the power 5 already. Mark box 4 - £5000, polite applause from the audience. Suzanne the new girl, box 1 - £250,000 - the audience gasped and Simon was stunned. Serious Simon was looking more serious than ever. Raj was still absent, box 11 opened by Buzz - £250. James ended the round, he said 'this is definitely blue' and then opened the lid on box 21 - 10p - getting the biggest cheer of the day so far. Time to discover more about Simon - he had started working on a building site aged 18, he then took up gambling and soon made enough money to get him to Miami and then on to Las Vegas (NB: children and vunerable adults, Simon could be lying here to thwart the banker, and in any case, gambling is not a good basis for a career - life is hard enough). Simon worked on a cruise ship as a croupier, so he knew about gambling, he had won and lost large amounts of money. The banker remembered Sandy's game where Simon told him to 'wind his neck in'. He summed up Simon as strong, perceptive and unlucky - the opening offer was £5000. Stevie shouted 'keep going and stay away from me'. Simon said 'No deal'.

Round two: June, box 16 - £10. Tom, box 5 - 50p. Simon now showing his aggressive side punched the air. Simone would be next with box 6. After the break, 'This is so blue', said Simone immediately before opening her lid on a red £3000, so James is clairvoyant and Simone is not. The banker reckoned that Simon would go down hill during the next round, so to reflect Simon's gambling history he offered £7777. Simon checked with Lofty and then said 'No deal, come on!'

Round three: Buzz, on two yellow cards, box 3 - £100. He looked at Sarah, 'I don't know, I hate to get it wrong, honey', the wanton hussie, she's mine you hear mine. She opened box 20 - £10,000. Box 18 was opened by Drew to reveal £100,000 - and the audience gasped again. 'This gives a very different complexion to the game', said Noel. The banker said if Simon could correctly identify the offer, he would double it. The offer was £2800. Simon considered this very carefully. Noel said, 'this all started with Susie's game'. He had advised Susie during her game that the offer should be £2800, and so (maybe with a little help from Noel), he guessed it right - his actual offer thus became £5600. Simon looked Noel right in the eyes, very scary - 'No deal'.

Round four: In my earlier post today - a letter to Endemol - I listed some of the Dond beauties, and somehow managed to forget about Becca, please accept my humblest apologies. (Sarah, don't worry she means nothing to me, nothing.) Becca opened box 19 - 1p - the audience cheered and were then immediately silenced as Lofty opened the lid on box 17 - £20,000. Simon was showing signs of stress now, puffing and taking an age over his next choice, so Noel gave him (and us) a break - 'the game is on a knife edge' said Noel as he waved us away. Janey, box 7- £750, she attempted poetry in there somewhere - No Janey, No! The offer was £4500. Simon asked for a sweep, 3 contestants said deal - 'all from the yellow side of the room, the cowards side of the room', said Noel, 'or maybe the common sense side of the room', said Simon. and he added, 'No deal'.

Round five: Peter box 9 - £15,000. Contestants were holding hands now. Stevie box 13 - £50,000 - 'I knew it' said Stevie, she really is a lovely lady, but she rattles on every time after giving a fatal blow - a bit like Harry Enfield's character that was always there after the event going 'you didn't wanna do that'. Simon's head hit the desk. Finally he went for Jason box 2 - £5. Simon looked up from under his furrowed brow, his mouth hidden by a fist, awaiting the banker's call. The offer was £2,100 - these offers were designed to push him on. Simon looked at the board, three blues against £1000 and £35,000. Emma advised 'go all the way, you have come this far'. Simon took the advice - 'No deal'.

Tan, box 12 - £50. Noel turned to the camera - 'This could be the most incredibly recovery in months'. Fran opened box 14 - £10. Come on said Simon. Box 10 was opened by Rich - £500. Simon was pumped, Noel shook his hand, 'well done, that took guts'. The offer came through and Noel grunted, ',just watch the reaction to this' he said, the offer was £13,000. Simon grimaced, the decison was going to be tough. Simon was standing to the side of the desk, arms folded, listening to Noel. He returned to his seat and smiled, and then the smile went. Through gritted teeth he said - 'Deal'.

Simon explained that he had joined DOND on the same day as Emma and had said to her that whatever happens he would leave Emma until the end. Furthermore his birthday was 8th July and she had box 8, he was sure that she had the big money - but he was wrong, Noel opened Simon's box to reveal the £35,000, further evidence that superstition and intuition are all in the mind.

Simon had done well, the boxes had not fallen for him, but he still walked away with the highest offer of the day. And I think its important to note that despite him believing he knew where the £35,000 was, he was able to control the temptation to keep going. Well done Simon.

Simon won £13,000.