Terri's Game Report

Tuesday, the camera shoots down the aisle towards Noel, and I am sure Noel thought it might hit him as he went in for the closeup. Noel gave the opening speel with baggy, blood shot eyes, has he finally joined in the party nights at the contestants hotel?. As the camera panned the contestants, there was a place left empty – Sarah is ill (disaster!!) ...in bed, in dire need of a hot water bottle (opportunity!!).

Today’s player was the lovely Terri, she had only done 10 shows. Terri bounced up to the front, a mixture of Bonnie Langford, Clare Balding (horse racing commentator) and a young Barbara Winsor. She was Teresa Borg, a part-time health visitiors’ assistant, she had recently started her own company instructing post/anti-natal women in exercises to music, she needed the big money to get her business off the ground. Terri was single (not sure if I should tell the rest of you that, might spoil my chances) and she was accompanied by her friend Kay in the audience. If the usual photo session happened I missed it.

Round one: June box 9 (her Mum’s birthday) - £250. Jason box 2 – 10p. Terry clapping like a demented seal, and whooping. Stevie, the new girl, (‘girl’ in the same sense as June), box 12 - £10,000. ‘Don’t worry Stevie, I had £50,000 in my first game’.This was like a siren call, she selected Rich with box 8, guess what - £50,000. Terri was too excited to be worried by this, she kept patting her thighs, shuffling her feet, scanning the boxes, muttering to herself. Finally she settled on Susie, box 15 - £500. Terri did some housekeeping while Noel chatted to the banker, placing photos on top of her box – the offer was £6100. Terri wanted to talk and then changed as she caught herself, you could almost hear her thinking ‘keep it together, keep it together’ – ask me the question – ‘No Deal’. She looked across to Noel, ‘If I win the £¼ million, you’d better start running, cause I’m coming after ya’, this woman was a dynamo, maybe her last man died of exhaustion?

Round two: ‘Do you fancy a quickie, Noel?’ I do said Noel – but I am pretty sure they were talking about two entirely different subjects, and this time Noel was concentrating on the boxes. Tan opened box 5 - £3000, Simone had box 20 - £20,000. Terri looked across the room and shouted ‘Joan box 24’, sending Noel off trying to find it, before realising that there was no Joan, and no box 24 – ‘Just joking Noel’, said this little minx. After the break, Noel noted that Terri seemed to be blossoming into the moment. Terri was keen to get on, she said, ‘the lovely Tom, come on give me a quickie’, Tom, unflustered, opened - £35,000. The banker appeared to be quite taken by Terri – the offer was now £9000. Simon was surprised, he thought the offer was very high, but that there was another deal there. Terri agreed, she described the offer as very generous, but – ‘No deal’.

Round three: Lofty had box 18 - £5. Simon opened box 21 - £1000. Maxine said that she was sure it was a blue, this was not the game to make rash statements, box 10 had £75,000. ‘oooo that hurts’ said Terri, perfectly happy really. Noel slowly walked to the phone, keeping the banker waiting, more importantly keeping Terri waiting, driving her insane with frustration, every part of her body was shivering – the offer was given quickly - £5000, she was being punished for losing the £75k.. ‘I so want to be the first ¼ million winner, if I have two reds left at the end I am going for it’, she said – ‘No deal’.

Round four: Dave, box 11 – 1p, smiler was back, Buzz was cheering for England, his arms dancing from side to side. Noel was happy that she was not going to be a member of the 1p Club, but Terri said, ‘If I was going to lose, I’d want to lose big, I’d quite like to be able to live in a phone box for the rest of me life with four men’. I was beginning to get the impression she would need at least four men. Next was box 7, Janey opened the lid on £5000. After the break Terri went for Mark, box 13 - £100. A good round, underlined by Terri off her seat, going round the audience cheering, clapping her hands, tightly clenching her bum, and stamping her feet. Noel talked up Terri’s position to the banker while she listened in the background, her face was now devoid of emotion, but her eyes had become hooded. The offer came through – it was £20,000 and suddenly her face changed, just a little, but enough to say, ‘thats it, thats my amount’, and she was sad. She was going now, the game was over, her fifteen minutes of fame were at an end. Noel saw this, he asked her what was her dream, and she said ‘I dreamt I was going to win £250,000 and it was there in that box’, pointing to the box in front of her. It was only a short statement, but during it she went through a repertoire of emotions. She stopped herself, ‘Ask me the question, Noel ask me the question’, it was a command rather than a request, her fast-paced voice reflecting the racing mind behind it. Noel asked, and the timing was wrong, she said ‘No Deal’, Terri was as surprised as anyone there.

Round five: Terri was muttering to herself, jumping from one end of the spectrum to the other as she tried to get a handle on where she now was. Eventually a coherent decision, ‘Pat, box 16’. Patricia was back, having been ill for a few days, it felt wrong, and as the lid lifted the walls closed in on Terri - £250,000. Terri’s head hit the table ‘oh god, what have I done?’. Noel went to her, ‘No, its in the past, there is still big money for you out there’. Terri was a mess, struggling to get to grips with where she was, eventually she went for Garry, box 22 - £50. The crowd had something to cheer and the final choice for the round seemed easier, box 6 – Fran opened £1. Suddenly the fear had gone, the joy had returned, she had got to the end of the round with one of the power five still there. It didn’t matter what the offer was now, Terri had survived her last crazy decision, she would be leaving now. Simon said ‘if the banker has a heart, the offer will be somewhere between late 20s and early 30s.’ Noel looked at him as if he had said he believed in Santa Claus. ‘He doesn’t have a heart’ said Noel, admonsihing Simon’s stupidity, and the banker phoned to prove it - the offer was £10,000. The board contained three blues, £100,000 and £15,000. ‘I always said if I have two reds I would go to the end’, said Terri, reflecting on what might have been, she was going to deal. ‘You have two reds’ said Noel, like a little red devil. ‘But I could wipe them all out’ said Terri, the voice was changing again. He asked the question, and she was about to answer but instead just said ‘sorry’, fanning her face with her hands. He asked the question again, she couldn’t let it go, Al Pacino was in the background saying’just when I think I’m out they pull me back in’ - she said ‘No deal’. The crowd roared, she was living the game, and crying her eyes out with fear at her own actions.

Round six: Box 15, Simon, now to be known as ‘Simple Simon’ – opened £100,000. In the audience Kay had her hands to her mouth, as if she was watching a car crash. ‘I watch from home with my son and it always go this way’, said Terri, unable to take in what she had just done. Noel tried to keep her going, but struggled to get a decision from her, finally she settled on Raj, box 4 – 50p. The crowd cheered but Terri was just a mess. Buzz, box 19 - £10. Buzz pointed at his box with thumbs up, he had done it again. The crowd cheered and Terri was smiling again, wiping back tears. The choice now was between £750 and £15,000. ‘Even £750 would be quite good’said Terri, ‘I could get 10 weeks advertising with that’. The banker offered £3800, he was pushing her on. The crowd groaned but Terri showed no reaction. Emma who had the only unopened box in the wings said she had two blues in 15 games, and she was sure she had the £15,000 in her box. Noel went to ask the question, ‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry’ she needed more time, she was not ready for the question, but that was because she just could not come to a single decision, she decided that he should ask and she would answer with whatever was in her head at that moment – it was ‘Deal’. Noel went towards the box and she said ‘Do you have to take my first answer?’ ‘Yep’ said Noel. He opened the box and the £15,000 was there, silence. Terri just shook her head, while in the wings Emma tried to pull her hair out. Emma had £750 in box 17.

Terri was in shock, Noel was exhausted, the contestants eventually went across the studio floor to be with Terri, and the audience clapped absent-mindedly, this was a numbing experience. It felt as if it didn’t matter what Terri did, the fates were going to get her, but the real problem for Terri was that she couldn’t let go – how long would it be before she stopped asking herself why she didn’t deal at the end of round four?

Terri won £3800