John's game

Countdown to the summer hols it’s Wednesday already, I feel like one of the children still at school. Does this mean a non-uniform day on Friday for Noel – I vote for a floral dress as his first choice.

It’s John’s turn out in the arena. He bows deeply as he fetches out box 20 with a couple of beautifully wrapped (in Robbie Burns check – not tartan) pressies from Colt Bridge where he works. A Scottish £1 note is included in the gift to the banker. His photo’s are of his 2 boys and Sarah his wife. Sarah is in the audience and he is the house husband of the family as she works full time.

Before John can choose his first number Noel is in his old place on the East wing doing a terrible impersonation of him offering advice.

Round 1
Nikkea? box 13 - £10,000
Maddie, box 14 - £15,000 - shocked silence
Nev, box 1 - £5,000 – not a good start
Sandra, box 8 - £500 – huge supportive cheer
Otis, box 5 - £50,000

Stunned is the only way to describe the reaction in the studio to this appalling start from John. As they listen to Noel waiting for the offer, an ice cream van is heard in the background – the studio bursts into nervous laughter. Back to the serious business, the banker has a word directly with John asking if the Scottish dosh is a bribe – denied by John. Noel is busy opening his pressie which appears to be fudge of some sort. The offer at this stage is £6. Sick squid I think – not commented on by the studio did they miss an obvious joke from the bank?

Round 2
Lindsay, box 7 - £20,000 ‘extraordinary’ from Noel
Helen, box 2 - £35,000 there is a gaping hole on the red side of the board already.
Sally, box 11 is asked to stop the rot – nope - £250,000 appears and disappears back under the table. In this game only one blue has gone from the board and all but 4 reds. Laughter is heard loudly via the phone – the offer is £1. John is determined the game is not over yet and refuses to be beaten at this stage. Noel agrees by reminding him the offers can’t get any worse than this. No Deal.

Round 3
Nick, box 3 - £1000
Emi, box 12 - £100,000 Can there be any lower reaction – still only one blue off the board
Box 22 - £5 - the cheer for a blue matches one as though he had won a packet!
The banker is hugely enjoying this – the offer is £1,000 and I think he should be tempted he has £3,000 and £75,000 left on the board in red. No deal says John which elicits lots of encouraging applause and cheers.

Round 4
Lance, box 6 - 10p
Paul, box 4 -£750
Chris, box 17 - £5
Relief exudes nervously across the studio, dare they hope for a last minute reprieve for the condemned man? The offer is issued with a challenge £2,800 for John to leave. John goes into the audience to seek Sarah’s counsel she is confident in his decision. Back to the chair and the question with a quiet no deal in reply.

Round 5
Gorgio, box 21 - 1p another winning choice
Adam, box 19 - £250
Ashley, box 9 - 50p
Two all blue rounds pulled out of John’s hat he now has £1, £10 & £100 on the blue side, £3k and still hanging in there £75k. The offer is £5,600, which is fair according to John. Noel thinks it is a budget exit and Mark thinks it should have been around the £9k. Difficult decision here – John’s is a very brave no deal.

Round 6
Sarah, box 15 - closes him down completely - £75,000
Mark, box 16 - £10
Khannie box 10 - £3,000
The options now are £1 or £100 the final offer is £26. Ce la vie declares John – no deal.
Noel reveals the contents of John’s box 20 which is - miniscule compensation - £100.

John’s final words of wisdom state that money has no value compared that which he puts on his wife, children and family in Scotland.
Braveheart away ye gan hame. (shut up spellcheck)

John won £100

Have a great Summer
Sue