Tan describes his DOND experience

I have been badgering Tan for a few weeks now to describe what it felt to go through the DOND experience. Finally he has responded....and how. He has written in the present tense, and its a fascinating account. Many, many thanks Tan.

Iain

Tan writes:

I never really considered myself to be a lucky little star lol, so I kind of always thought that if the worst luck was going to happen, it'd probably be to me, lord knows I have bruised and left behind too many people in my time (for that I'm sorry and I miss you all just for the record!) :)

So anyways you know how the game turned out for me, if you didn't catch it, there is within this very blog site a very detailed description of it, to which I can say that Iain, did a very good job of capturing my moments and detailing the way I was feeling too. So you can believe in what is written lol.


The aftermath.

Firstly I would like to say I completely enjoyed being in the seat, I couldn't explain it to anyone, how it felt, to be quite so in the focal point. Everyone smiling at me and generally spurring me thru every moment, constantly reminding me that it was all about me.

I had just won a fiver and yet, I had still not grasped the fact that my moment was about to end, the show was drawing to a close. As opposed to earlier when my fellow contestants were smiling at me, now they all look slouched over the panel with sad faces. Patricia, who revealed the 'one box game' £35,000 by showing me my birthday number box was in tears. It was suddenly dawning on me that the game was indeed coming to an end. Noel shut the box showing the £5, I asked why, he simply replied, but with a little sympathy, "well it's a fiver..."

There was a moment that followed as he moved to continue the show by talking to the home viewers about what had been witnessed and how they at home could win some money (great I thought, going to be more than me whatever happens lol). The moment that followed was like a sudden strike. It's over for sure now, and I've just won a fiver. I don't think I was half as bothered as some of the other contestants as they came over to show their commiserations. It did feel better though as the show was not quite over yet! However to see Patricia crying as she did, not good, I enjoyed that none, I think she was just taking it too seriously. It made me feel like the money was suddenly to become important when; it was not.

After the first show in the morning, we go for something to eat. I never felt such a cold feeling as I did walking in there after my show, so everyone knows I just won £5 and it seems they all feared to say anything to me in case I slit me wrists or something. Becca and her mother came up to me and reminded me it was just a game and not to take it too seriously, I think they could see I was already past that. I felt at that moment that there were many people in here that really depended on making a big win and were probably struggling with the thoughts of what they would do should they face a similar fate on their date with the banker. Still I moved to push the feeling up and announced that we'd be having big drinks later in the evening.

Back at the ranch.

After a few beverages people felt the courage to get a bit more leverage and start asking me questions, and telling me that if they win big, I'm having 10% blah blah. That was the sort of conversation that I really didn't want as I wasn't robbed of anything, no one had realised that I only ever gained from this experience as they will whether they win big or small..
The eve continues, I am still consoled without the need, am getting tired of hearing it now, I wish people would just have themselves a time and stop worrying about my outcome and their own inevitable games. My first nights sleep was a bit tough in truth, I did, wonder why I picked my birthday box before other numbers that meant nothing to me. But one can't dwell on 'what could have been' was for too long, it was all much easier to deal with (excuse the pun) once I got used to the idea that everything happens for a reason.