Eileen's game

Sorry folks I missed the intro to this game due to my laptop getting its knickers in a twist. Spookily enough this appears to be in tune with the theme for today’s show.

Eileen, a cleaning manager from Doncaster is chosen, carrying over box 7. Sadly the only part of the early preamble I recall from my panic in trying to get the computer to talk to me, is Eileen having been on daytime TV for being ‘hip’ and wearing a g-string at age 50.

Round 1
Sally, box 3 - £50
Al, box 9 - £5
Linda box 2 - £1
Yvonne, box 1 - £100,000
Sue, box 6 - £10

Nevertheless, Eileen is already annoying me (alright it could have been the laptop set me off) with her regular Aaaaayyyys and Ooooohs in keeping with the clients of most Blackpool bingo halls. She apparently thinks well of the banker as the phone rings. I don’t believe her and don’t believe he is fooled by her fake bravado. He suggests an offer of £250,000 to see her knickers, which causes a few polite chuckles around the studio. The offer is £5,250 – the reply is no deal.

Round 2
Bianca, box 13 – (without showing her knickers) is £250,000
Ashok, box 16 - £3,000
Shirley, box 14 - £100 – another loud Yeeeeaaaa from the lady in the seat.
Noel declares Eileen didn’t need £250k did she? Yes was the reply, however the £75k will be enough. The offer at this stage is £1,250 – once again it’s a no deal from Eileen.

Round 3
Mark, box 12 - £750. I really am hating this yelling and wish she would stick to just reds.
Connel, box 4 – ‘Big soft giant’ has £10,000 and saves my ears from the inevitable shout.
Melanie, box 22 - £500. Ouch again, it is sounding now like a blade saw slicing through metal. It’s a good offer Eileen, please accept £12,500 and go home now. The audience is consulted and they all agree with me (not really) sadly it’s a no deal again.

Round 4
We motor on says Noel and the board is looking very good at this point.
Pierre, box 5 - £20,000
Paul, box 10 - £250
Ryan, box 20 – after the break – 1p. Yeeeeaaaaaa, Ooooooh Gerrout – its gone wow Pass the sick bucket please.

The new offer is £16,500 please, please, take it. Wayne slaggs off the banker saying this is a load of rubbish and the phone rings back instantly Noel is asked to pass on the message – you just made a big error. Eileen by the way is looking a bit green around the gills – matching her lovely mushy pea’s coloured top. The answer is – a very brave if a little quiet – no deal.

Round 5
Wayne, box 15 - £5,000
Amy, box 8 - £50,000
Jenelle box 21 – 10p. Eileen is fanning herself frantically.
Ashok predicts the offer will be low to keep Eileen gambling away her reds. The last offer is repeated - £16,500. Noel tries to bring reality into this one – I think he is trying to make her deal – perhaps his ears are hurting too. How brave is she? The question – the answer - Deal. Fair do’s says Noel and I do think he is right.

Hypothetical - Round 6
Linda, box 17 - £1,000
Vic, box 18 - £35,000
Roy, box 19 - £75,000 – Yeeeeeesssss. for the final time - thank goodness.
The offer would have been £3,500 – No deal.

The two remaining boxes have 50p and £15,000. Noel opens Eileen’s box 7 to reveal the 50p. He goes through the routine of congratulating Eileen for selling a box worth 50p for £16,500. The pressure seems to have got to Eileen by the end of the show as we see her broken down in tears – of relief.

Georgia has just suggested the studio could have got into the spirit a bit more by chanting ‘come on Eileen’. I agree.

Eileen won £16,500