Welcome to donduk. A refuge for those who enjoy Deal or No Deal, the hit Channel 4 gameshow hosted by Noel Edmonds. The award winning gameshow Deal or No Deal has become a big hit for Channel 4 and marks a sensational return to our screens of Noel Edmonds.

Deal or No Deal is enjoyed my millions of viewers daily, where the contestants battle with The Banker to try and win a jackpot of £250,000. Here at donduk you will find full daily reports of each show, as well Deal or No Deal news and specials. Deal or No Deal although initially appearing very simple in format of just opening a few boxes for the chance to win some big money prizes, actually has some potentially complex decisions to be made at points throughout the show, the contestants occasionally try complex or simple gameplay in an attempt to give them an edge in beating the Banker.

Monday, June 12, 2006

Carlton's game report

A strange day of DOND begins with More 4 showing last night's Richard show instead of today's show with Louise, who is now unemployed. As she lives in the north, £30,000 may pay off her mortgage twice over so maybe there's no harm done.

In a further twist, it appears that minor celebrities have replaced half of the current cast of nobodies I castigated so cruelly over the weekend.

Tonight's contestant is Carlton, a more handsome version of Ali G. A 26 year-old chemistry student from Plymouth, he is accompanied by his girlfriend Jo (played by Alison Moyet). Jo threatens to dump Carlton unless he wins the £250,000. She should be so lucky. Carlton, playing with box 4, writes his dream sum in Noel's book and the game gets under way.

Round 1
  • Carlton plumps decisively for new girl Amy and box 18: £20,000.
  • Debbie and box 1: £50.
  • Eileen (played by Maureen from Driving School) opens box 2 in slow motion and looks very shocked to be greeted by shouts and shrieks before it is fully open: the audience can see 1p. She then shakes her fist as she did at other learner drivers a few years ago.
  • Ron (played by Santa Claus) promptly whips open box 7 to reveal 10p as this begins to look like a very promising opening round.
  • Carlton then consults with Lee who has little feeling for the contents of box 9. Carlton decides that this is the box for him and Lee reveals £50,000.

A very mixed round: three of the bottom seven figures and two of the top seven. Nevertheless, the banker offers a decidedly generous £7,000. Carlton seems to consider the options before replying confidently: "No deal."

Round 2

  • Undeterred by asking Lee, Carlton turns to Bianca and asks her about box 21. She feels uneasy and he opts instead for Melanie and box 17: £500.
  • Wayne (played by Phil Daniels) is next: £75,000. The second of the power five has gone, in just the first seven boxes.
  • The ad break contains the blood donor advert where Heather Mills suggests that "without these people, I'd be dead." Given the fortnight she's having, she might be re-considering how good a bargain she got. When we return, the unmistakable West Country tones of perennial favourite Lucy introduce a review of Nick's disastrous 1p game before Scott opens box 13 to reveal £5.

The board now contains six blues against eight reds, including the £250,000 and the £100,000. The banker places another generous offer of £12,500. Putting down her cream bun and turning her attention to a haunch of venison, Alison Moyet advises her boyfriend to have fun. Does this mean she is suggesting he leave her? We don't know, but Carlton is rather blasé as he says simply and perhaps too quickly: "No deal."

Round 3

  • Teresa (played by Olive from On The Buses) opens box 20: 50p.
  • Frank is next as box 11 reveals £5,000.
  • Finally, Carlton turns to his neighbour in the West Wing, Chrissie. She wishes him luck, then opens box 5 to cheers as she finishes a strong round with £1,000.

Up in the audience, Alison Moyet tucks into another profiterole as she joyfully assures Noel and the watching hordes that she had earlier allocated every sum except the 1p. Presumably even strawberry laces now cost more than that.

The banker rings, stating that Alison Moyet's determination to get her ravenous paws on the cash was helping him to prise Carlton out of the seat. The offer is £15,000. "Boyakasha," Carlton fails to exclaim. From the cheap seats, Nick advises caution: after all, we have just seen him turn down £9,000 and go home with precisely £8,999.99 less.

Carlton's response is firm: "Absolutely no deal."

Round 4

  • Calling for a quickie round, Carlton chooses Trevor and box 12: £35,000. Alison Moyet realises she has time for only the one sundae as the camera pans to her panic-stricken face.
  • Joseph opens box 3: £15,000.
  • Pennie (played by Su Pollard) is next and fights to reveal her sum before Noel can call the break. He grabs box 6 from the desk and cradles it as we hear from the sponsors. On returning, Su Pollard reveals £250,000 - yet again, it's an all-red fourth round.

Carlton looks shocked, Su Pollard wipes a tear from her spectacles and Alison Moyet plucks a remnant of pheasant from her incisors as she menacingly assures Carlton that she will love him no matter what happens. The banker guffaws and, taking his time, offers just £4,000. Carlton decides quickly: "No deal."

Round 5

With just three reds against five blues, Carlton needs a good round. He looks determined.

  • Nessie, whose looks belie her under-loch origins, opens box 22 to reveal the £100,000 and end Carlton's hopes of matching his previous offers. The highest remaining sum is now £10,000.
  • Mark's box 16 reveals £1, met with subdued applause.
  • Ashok opens box 10 and eliminates another blue: £100.

"I hope he's nice to me," jokes Carlton. "No chance," quips Noel in reply. "£10 would be a night out," says Carlton, clearly convinced by the sight of Su Pollard, Phil Daniels and Olive that he is living in 1978. In tribute to the Seventies, Alison Moyet munches at a black forest gâteau in the way most people bite into apples. Carlton explains that it is cheap in his student union.

The offer is £1,100. After appearing to consider the deal, Carlton issues a decisive rejection.

Round 6

After the third and final commercial break, Noel summarises the position for new viewers. Five sums remain: £10, £250, £750, £3,000 and £10,000.

  • Yvonne opens box 19: £3,000. There is no further room for error: this game is now all or nothing.
  • Jo is next with box 15: £250. The pretty blonde smiles as Carlton is faced with a horrible dilemma.
  • Carlton considers whom to choose next, Daz or Bianca. He listened to Bianca's gut feeling at the start of Round 2 and chose Melanie instead. With this in mind, perhaps, he plumps for Daz who deflates the room by revealing the £10,000 in box 14. Bianca's feeling wasn't so reliable after all.

A cruel end: Carlton is left with £10 and £750. The banker offers £200. Carlton, perhaps having seen the soon-to-be-former Mrs McCartney during the ad break, opines that "money can't buy you love." No, sunshine, it can't... but it might allow you to keep her in cake supplies. He declares that the banker is "having a laugh." There is to be no deal here either. To his credit, the banker states that he knows he didn't break Carlton and that he got lucky today.

The phone quickly rings again and Carlton is offered the swap. Alison Moyet mistakenly nibbles on an audience member's arm as the pressure becomes too much. Refusing the swap, Carlton confirms that £6,000 was his entry in Noel's book... as our host opens box 4 to reveal the £10. Bianca cries as she realises that she may have cost Carlton money and opens box 21 to reveal the final £750 sum.


This was a strange game, somewhat lacking in atmosphere. Carlton was twice offered a lot more than his target sum but turned down both offers. Perhaps, unlike Alison Moyet in the audience, he will have learned that gluttony is a sin.

Carlton won £10.

Thank you for bearing with me through a long but eventful game... we now return to your normal programming.


Gillean said...

Outstanding Steve, a hard act to follow, I am still laughing while writing this - well done, and many thanks.

Anonymous said...

Well done Steve

Sue x

bairy said...

Very funny writeup.

Shame about Carlton, if only he'd listened to Nick at 15k.
Still, he had a great attitude towards the outcome.

Chris S said...

Argh!! Stupid football. Missed the late DOND without even thinking about it. Ah well looks like I didn't miss much.

Superb report though. Liked the format as well.

Anonymous said...

2 episodes a week... too much.

I've watched every single episode since I started watching in Frebruary and now they not only have a Sunday episode but 2 episodes a week?

Time to give up the addiction and stop watching for me... I've got other things to do with my spare time.